We'll start with the cheesy line:  I'm indefinitely loaning a firearm to a very, very good friend (as a note, she's the only non family member I would ever consider loaning a firearm to) as I'm handing it over, I say: 'I really care about this one so take care of her OK'  she replies 'don't worry, I will and I reply 'I was talking to the gun' she almost teared up 

Quick cheezy line that got no reaction but silence and a dirty look.

At work ( big office building ) I went into the mens room to take a leak and overheard a guy standing at the sink having a conversation with a guy in a stall who was making some hellaciously disgusting non stop bowel noises. The guy at the sink said to the other guy; Where have you been, haven't seen you in a while?.......Answer; Been on vacation, just got back! ...........Guy at the sink; Where did you go?.........  ME chiming in; Let me guess---- Mexico City?

  Note; Anyone who has ever taken a vacation or even visited Mexico city gets a horrendous case of the sh*ts.

cheesy pick up line that actuly has worked a few times, toss the girl a snow ball (dont be an a$$ and throw it or it wont work) then when she catches it out of a reaction say "i knew you were a good catch" 

cheesy as hell line. just dont sue me if you get slapped.
find soeone incredibly attractive nearby, motion for them to coem to you using only 1 finger. when they do. answer/say " see i knew i could make you come with only 1 finger"

Of course, the flip side here is that I'm completely and utterly in love with her. We were out having dinner tonight and the guy a few seats down struck up a converation. At one point he says to her 'you really love him don't you?'  I nearly passed out and she couldn't form even a single cohesive word for several minutes.

Man you need to hit that quick yo.

go for it dude, take her to a movie and say "if you were a pirate would you like your parot on this sholder?" (place your hand on the nearest sholder to you in a kind of bird shape) "or would you like it on this sholder?" (move your hand behind her neck and put your arm around her)

i used to be a lumber grader in a sawmill. the place would need constant repairs and maintenance but they would let things run messed up until it totally failed. one week at a safety meeting i said to management and the crew that they should find out how many maintenance people worked here and hire an equal number of lesbians, then we would have twice as many people walking around that don't do duck.

drop a packet of sugar on the ground in front of a waitress then pick it up and say, excuse me I think you dropped your name tag.

(Note: does not work with Equal or Splenda)

Like I always say ... "thank goodness for chef Dohabee"

BTW wtf happened to those chef Boyardee ads and the old lady that used to sound like she was choking on some spagettio's when she said that.

Cool.
Buddha.

Well Mickey and Minnie were getting a divorce and Mickey was on the stand. The judge looked at him and said " I can't give you a divorce on grounds of her acting funny" Mickey looked at the judge and said "She's not crazy I said she's Flucking Goofy"

Terrible, I know.

Mary

Quote from: dohabee on September 01, 2011, 05:36:51 PM
drop a packet of sugar on the ground in front of a waitress then pick it up and say, excuse me I think you dropped your name tag.

(Note: does not work with Equal or Splenda)

The Equal one *might* work if she's a hardcore feminist. It might also get you decked though...

Had dinner again.........well, it actually started as just drinks.....then she got hungry and we split a burger. As we waited for a pair of seats at the outdoor bar, two nice older British gents gave up their seats and made a comment about the view being great for a couple of lovebirds (sunset on the sound)  again, we were both momentarily at a loss for words. I'm seriously farked up over her. I've never felt like this about anyone before.

So is it safe to say, you can just sit and talk for hours and hours and hours on end?

Michael

Don't say anything stupid to get her mad because she's got your gun now.

- Porkchop

"We split a burger"


I give it a month, it may take a few weeks for the glow to wear off and it finally sinks in just what a tightwad you really are.


Depending on your response to this we'll also see if you have a sense of humor.

Quote from: ojstinson on September 02, 2011, 10:02:56 AM
"We split a burger"


I give it a month, it may take a few weeks for the glow to wear off and it finally sinks in just what a tightwad you really are.


Depending on your response to this we'll also see if you have a sense of humor.

It is a overall misconception that women dont like cheap skates. The thing though ... you cant spend $ on yourself and be a tightwad everywhere else.
I think that is the line between frugal and cheap ... dont buy your clothes @ Nordstroms and let her only go to yard sales. I think though with an american woman being frugal puts you firmly in the "husband" category, and they'd dump you till they need a husband.

So, Be like buddha ... wifey go to ross and buddha shops @ the flea market and you dont have to worry about them loose women getting attracted to you. 

Cool.
Buddha.

I'm pretty sure that would make her the tightwad, she picked up the bill last night   actually, that's the only thing we've ever argued about. We both get pretty crafty about picking up the check. Actually, if I don't get crafty about it and just try to pay when the check comes, she usually just elbows me in the ribs until I drop my credit card.

Ohh, yeah, a few minor issues. She's 21 yrs older than me, my boss at a part time job and I'm terrified that at some point down the line I would end up hurting her and I don't think I could live with myself if that happened. She's been hurt a lot and I don't know if I'm good enough for her, by my own standards.

Well, she's out of town until Wednesday. I'm at a regular hangout of ours right now and not having any fun.....
At least I know she can defend herself while shes travelling.