Welcome to the Tard Farm "Last Poster Wins" awards.

Over in the Tard Farm there is a forum called "Last Poster Wins" (TF:LPW). This is our most active forum, even though many think its a waste of time. There is, however, a dedicated following that regularly post to the forum, and these awards are to honour those for their hard work and tireless effort over the past year.

These awards have been generated from all the posts made in 2011 (in the timezone where ever the hosting server is located). I've taken a copy of all the posts and passed them through a script which tallies up all the metrics and issues the winners. I explain what these metrics are before each award below. And so there's no possibility of me gaming the system, all posts by myself (gramlord) have been discarded before the metrics are calculated.

So on to the awards. First off, the person who made the most number of posts in 2011.

The "Post Whore" award goes to ... mister

This one was hotly contested between several hard-core posters, so well done mister.

Next up, the shortest average post size and the longest average post size. A little explanation here. To be counted in this award, and all following awards too, you need to have posted at least 10 times. Anything under 10 and I think you're not trying hard enough. To work out average post size I first strip out all non-original content from each post, such as quoted posts, signatures, images, links, html tags etc, leaving just the part of the post which was typed by the poster. Then I stripped out all non-alphabetic characters, leaving just the original poster's words. The number of words are then averaged over the number of posts for each poster, and so the smallest and largest average post size award is given.

The "Mini Me" award goes to ... cbrfxr67

and

The "Stretch Limo" award goes to ... Electrojake

Well done cbrfxr67 and Electrojake. This shows both ends of the scale between succinctness and verbosity, both of which enhance the reader appeal of TF:LPW.

Next up, and to continue the reader appeal line, we have the most conversational post award. The word "the" is the most common English language word used in general text, so I've taken the number of times "the" is used within each post as an indication of how conversational the post is. It's a bit of a stretch, I'll admit that, but it helps to distinguish posts that have more readable prose in them compared to the simple "I Win" posts, which aren't very conversational I think you'll agree. So this award goes to the person who has the highest average "the" word count across all their posts.

The "the" award goes to ... Electrojake

Well done Electrojake, you've helped add the human side to the forum.

Next lets go to the other extreme of the spectrum. Generic posts like "I Win" are not only the simplest posts you can make, but they also reinforce in the mind of the reader, in case they've forgotten, that, indeed, this post is the winner. So along the same lines as the "the" award, this award goes to the person who has the highest average number of winning words (like win, winner, winning, won etc).

The "Captain Obvious" award goes to ... NorwayGT1

This award is the second highest award given tonight, and it shows a great ability to state your winningness in the least number of words. Well done NorwayGT1.

And so to the final award, and I believe the greatest award that can be given to TF:LPW posters. When you post the last post in the forum it will only be the winning post for a short while, until somebody else makes another post. So for this award I tallied up all the time, in seconds, that each poster had a winning post, and the winner has the greatest accumulated time with a winning post during 2011.

The "Eat My Dust" award goes to ... mister

Well done mister, this shows that you are ever present and willing to quickly quash other poster's winning posts with your own. True dedication to the forum.

Congratulations to all the winners, and thank you for reading this post.

ehh most of misters winning psots were quotes of emoticons lol

Umpire's (me, gramlord) decision is final. No discussion will be entered into.

Quote from: gramlord on January 01, 2012, 06:08:31 AM
Umpire's (me, gramlord) decision is final. No discussion will be entered into.

every sport  in which umpires exist always had a way of overtyurning its decision  LMAO. its all good though mutiny and postwhorage is fun

Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on January 01, 2012, 05:53:33 AM
ehh most of misters winning psots were quotes of emoticons lol

No they weren't. I did have that emoticon war going on. But that ended early in the year.

In fact, I'd say LPW thread is quite the unexpected educational thread.

I win  thanks fans, fans and airconditioners...

Michael

I believe the calibrations Gods have shown you favor lol

Congrads

(applause)(applause)(more applause)

Quote from: mister on January 01, 2012, 12:53:08 PM

Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on January 01, 2012, 05:53:33 AM
ehh most of misters winning psots were quotes of emoticons lol

3 or 4 pages of requotes at least to the point where it was to the point you couldnt even see the emote anymore, just hte quote bracket. kinda looked like modern art tiles 
No they weren't. I did have that emoticon war going on. But that ended early in the year.

In fact, I'd say LPW thread is quite the unexpected educational thread.

I win  thanks fans, fans and airconditioners...

Michael

Yeah, the emoticons were almost meeting in the middle. But then the layout changed and the quotes overlapped.

Thing is though, you can postwhore as much as you like in the farm and it does not add to your post count.

Formal Protest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did not even get a mention! WTF???

Wait until next years awards. You'll be there. Just gotta post more useful stuff - or - useless stuff to knock Norway off the perch.

Not a happy camper.

Where is Norway anyway. I woulda thunk you shoulda got his award. Or at least another award for Something. I'll give you a cyberbeer, enjoy 

Aussie should've got an honorable mention, surely!

I'd like to give two Awards here and now...

cbrfxr67 - for the most unusual and never explained avatar. Discussed in depth in LPW but never resolved, the mystery remains

aussiegs - for actually trouncing Norway in the posting of "I Win" stakes, but also for Most Resilient Newcomer to the game - and - for having the most wins away from the computer at home.

Awwwwwwwwww I feel special now thank you all I could not have done it without mister. 

Quote from: mister on January 02, 2012, 01:44:17 PM
aussiegs - for actually trouncing Norway in the posting of "I Win" stakes, but also for Most Resilient Newcomer to the game - and - for having the most wins away from the computer at home.

Not so, mister. Norway had average of 2.8 win words per post, whereas aussie came in 7th with 0.82 per post. The win goes to Norway.

Sorry aussie, better luck new year.

The 2012 awards will all be different from 2011 to stop you sneaky dudes from gaming the awards. I've already picked the highest award, and it will be quite interesting to see how it turns out.

Quote from: gramlord on January 02, 2012, 03:31:47 PM

Quote from: mister on January 02, 2012, 01:44:17 PM
aussiegs - for actually trouncing Norway in the posting of "I Win" stakes, but also for Most Resilient Newcomer to the game - and - for having the most wins away from the computer at home.

Not so, mister. Norway had average of 2.8 win words per post, whereas aussie came in 7th with 0.82 per post. The win goes to Norway.

Sorry aussie, better luck new year.

The 2012 awards will all be different from 2011 to stop you sneaky dudes from gaming the awards. I've already picked the highest award, and it will be quite interesting to see how it turns out.

Ah, I understand it now. Cause when Norway would post "win win win win". I see. All clear, back to regular LPW winning...

Michael

Thank you, Thank you,

Seeing as how I won in not one, but TWO prestigious categories, it is only fair that I publicly thank my mentor mister.
mister can truly turn a hand full of dust into a twelve page thread of facts, trivia, and bold faced lies. Like him or not, his unique talents can't help but be recognized as extraordinary.

And my hat is off to some of the other more notable characters that have made the Last Poster Wins section of the Tard Farm the undeniable cesspool of wisdom for any man, woman, or child that has ever thrown a leg over a GS500.

yamahonkawazuki (the undeniable master of wasted bandwidth)
ghostrider_23
cbrfxr67
NorwayGT1
Toledo Jim

Next year we should have a winner for "the member that replies to their own posts most often"
Thank You gramlord for the work on the Awards Tallies!
Good stuff, win or lose (eh, aussiegs?)
-Ej-

Man, I had a lot of posts in there also!

If only my main rig hadn't let out the smoke.