I was approached by the dean of continuing education to possibly give a commencement speech.  One full time and one part time student gives one.  The ones that are asked have to write up the speech and present it to the deans.  I don't know exactly how many will compete but it doesn't sound like a lot.

To be honest I have no idea as to what to write.  Anybody of you recent college grads want to give me an idea of what a good commencement speech entails?  I have one week to write it  

Congrats!

I'd go alone the lines of saying the world's a Buddha Loves You and you've got to keep truckin and make the best of everyday!

With a lil refining it could sound politically correct!  :mrgreen:

Good luck!!!

Egg Head, likes the booky wook :lol:  
It is always in good taste to rag on the rival university

Quote from: JohNLAEgg Head, likes the booky wook :lol:  
It is always in good taste to rag on the rival university

Keep that up and you'll be getting a new custom title    :nana:

...and we have no rival university.  It's just a two year college.

umm look up the kurt vonnegeut (sp?) from a few years back and plagarize it completely.

jake

my bad. perpetuating urban legends.. sorry.

http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/sunscreen.html[/url]

My FIRST DRAFT:  Good afternoon.  Fellow students, alumni and faculty. My name is Johnny Damon and I am pleased to be chosen to give this year's commencement speech for Sluggo College.  I despise all of you worthless mental midgets.  Most of you make hoe handles look intelligent and rival kindergardeners with your literary prowess.  The saddest part is I will probably be competing with you for a job someday and you will get it because you are 15 years younger then me.  Really, what makes me the most nauseous is the fact most of you are too thick, intoxicated or stoned to realize you are living the best days of your lives.  So go ahead and continue with your higher education at a four year college.  MacDonalds is always looking for educated burger flippers or Hot Topic a highly motivated assistant manager.  Maybe I am a little bitter that I wasn't given the opportunity to go on to college after high school and had to get my degree through night school, but I'm going to make up for it now.  I am going to blaze my own trail through life on my own terms.  If you hear laughter off in the distance in the future, don't worry.  It's just me laughing at you all behind your back.

Somehow writing this was very theraputic even though I don't mean any of it...as far as you know.

Hey, dont mock us too drunk or stoned students who are 15 years younger. I can promise you that my being under the influence has not yet proved to be detremental to my education. It may take me 6 years to finish, but mark my words, I will finish strong, and stoned.
Thats a good speech though. I say do it up! If it were a valedictorian speech, then I could help, but not this comencment poppycock.

I think what you're supposed to say, John, is
First: congratulations on getting this education.  
Second: Now starts real life, and here are some guidelines for getting the most of it.  
Then list and describe things they don't teach in school, like  
--be passionate about what you do,
--be involved, committed
--always put some away for the future,
--be honest, live the golden rule, etc.
--value people more than things, relationships more than money
--maintain integrity and honor
--work hard but not too hard; make sure you enjoy life too
--help other people
--brush and floss every day  
--and so on (many more - say what you believe)

For inspiration you could look at Vonnegut's commencement address, or Richard Feynman's (Feinman? Fineman?).  If you can't find them, flunk yourself on internet 101.

This is an opportunity.  Most of them probably won't really be listening, but some will, and you can make a difference in their lives.

Yes.  I really do have some ideas Afterburner and they are somewhat along those lines.  I think my speech will focus on striving for excellence, following your dreams, perhaps balancing the financial goal with spiritual (not religious).   With only 5 minutes I won't have much to write about.

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nuff said, or you can take your above example, and actually deliver it, drunk AND stoned :mrgreen:

maybe you should go up and ramble incoherently for 5 minutes about sasquatch and at the end of your speech run screaming into the audience.

" I am going to blaze my own trail through life on my own terms"
That is the most important thing you can say. Few people actually understand what that means.

" I am going to blaze my own trail through life on my own terms"
That is the most important thing you can say. Few people actually understand what that means.

Quote from: Rich500Hey, dont mock us too drunk or stoned students who are 15 years younger. I can promise you that my being under the influence has not yet proved to be detremental to my education. It may take me 6 years to finish, but mark my words, I will finish strong, and stoned.
Thats a good speech though. I say do it up! If it were a valedictorian speech, then I could help, but not this comencment poppycock.

LOL :lol: I feel you man. It HAS taken me 6 years to finish!

Quote from: jangofett
LOL :lol: I feel you man. It HAS taken me 6 years to finish!

Your parents must be proud :lol:

There is a book that might help you with your speech and is probably available at a local library. It is a very quick read and might help structure your ideas:

Hoff, R. (1996). Say It in Six. Kansas City: Andrews and McMeel.

The quick and dirty on this is:
1) The burning issue - 30 seconds - Speak to the self-interest of the audience, not your self-interest. Get to the point quickly, e.g., "We've been preparing for x years and now it's time to DO something..."
2) The overview - 60 seconds - Speak to how all of you got to this point - bring them in with shared history, e.g., "We've partied at 2AM and studied at 2PM... "
3) The "IT" (Idea made Tangible) - 120 seconds - Here's where you share your wisdom - what would make their pathetic lives better?
4) The payoff - 60 seconds - What cool things would happen in their lives if they would only do IT?
5) The close - 30 seconds - The "now it's up to you" call to the quest, go save middle-earth or ride-til-you-drop, rah-rah...

Hope this helps.