Thought this might be a unique thread... kinda to show that we all aren't perfect and are constantly learning from our mistakes and experiences....

I've been riding for a little over 4 years now and these are my derp moments:

I have never full out crashed-- thank God-- but I lost my balance during a slow tight turn when I was just learning and fell down.

There were two times gravel got me... I was practicing in a cemetary by my parents house and wiped out at very slow speed when my back tire slipped on some of that really fine gravel/dirt mix we've all seen before. The second time was at the bottom of my parents long steep gravel driveway when I still lived at home and the back tire just kicked out from under me.

One time I had my bike up in the back of a box truck and as I was backing it out, I lost my balance and kinda slowly leaned the bike against the wall... it kicked my knee sideways which was not a pleasant feeling.

Finally, a couple years ago I parked on a slope and thought the bike was pretty stable... yeah as I was walking away it fell over. I was beyond mad at myself, not to mention embarassed.   

Hadn't ridden in a while. . Helmet stored on shelf in shed.   During a mountain twisties night cruise I was suddenly very aware that 'something' was crawling  my scalp... as I was supposed to be focussed on going into a left climbing sweeper..  completely focused on the crawling thing, braked hard but no turn... nearly ended arse up in a 2foot deep weedy culvert!...

Ripped off helmet with yaaaaaaaaaargh! ...

It was a little brown German cockroach.   Only half grown too!

Coulda been a vicious head eating vampire spider!

First ride on first of 5 GSs. jun '03 post Msf. i rode down s curve from house, trying a SLOW speed turn around. and a fall over. right hand turns i could handle but lefties at the time. were sketchy. but knew up to upright a goldwing so uprighted the thing and beyond a slightly gnarly  clutch lever it ( and i) were fine. but it was a goofy looking fail of an involuntary dismount lol.
Aaron

Here's mine:

A friend from work gave me a Chinese 70cc pit bike since his kids out grew it. So over winter I've been cleaning it up, doing some maintenance, etc.. One morning I get home from work and had the house all to myself, but there was about 2" of snow outside and I thought "maybe I'll run that bike thru the snow a little before heading to bed". After doing a bunch of loops and figure 8's in the yard, I try and do a burnout in my gravel driveway but the rear tire caught the hard packed rock underneath. ..... and launched the bike right up to 12 o'clock. Oops! Haha..... Get back on 2 wheels, and go to ride into the garage except I didn't see the patch of ice on the driveway.

Know how embarrassing it is to be a grown adult pinned under a pitbike? I do....

Was working on a four wheeler for my buddy and got it running.  Went out on the trails and thought it was great.  Came back, bragged to my wife how awesome I was at fixing stuff and asked her to come ride with me.  Took off with her arms wrapped tight around me, wind whistling by,....was feeling fantastic!  Hit the trails, showing off my four wheeling expertise (lol), got farther and farther away from the house and glub,...glub,.burp,...engine started stalling.   All I could think of was pushing that turd all the way home with her sitting on it, glaring at me!  Somehow I kept it from cutting out and babied it home at a snail's pace,.....haha 

another facepalm moment, riding a beatup honda trailbike, 2nd time ever on a moto. 1st time off road. i panicked tried to flintstone stop. while clutch wasnt depressed. bumped into tree. no damage to either myself or the honda. just my ego/pride lol..
Aaron

Dropped a brand new CBR600rr with about 200 miles on it. I was pushing it into a front wheel clamp to hold the bike while I setup the suspension. Instead of hitting the slot, I hit the side which caused me to lose my balance and fall over. About a $450 mistake

It was also in front of about 10 other riders lol, cool points!

I also dropped my GS once when I had to park on a sidewalk. I went to back down the ramp with my helmet on (stupid lol) and didn't notice I was going off the side of the ramp instead of down the middle of it. Promptly dropped it. About $200 to repair it.

bumpity bump

Went to move my GS forward about 4 feet in the garage.  I had just finished working on it and wanted to clean up the area.  I had skipped dinner and had a light lunch, and by now I was very tired and feeling a little on the weak side.
Well, I didn't stand the bike up completely and as a result the side stand got swept back a little as I rolled her forward.  Went to set it down and it just kept going down!
Was too tired to stop it, I had to let it fall, but I did slow the descent.  Luckily, the handlebars got tangled up in an extension ladder along the wall and stopped just short of any engine covers or anything being on the ground.  Picked her back up, no damage whatsoever!

I once dropped my bike when I was wrestling it around to do more work on it. . . I was not pleased. . . luckily it was on grass. . .

I haven't gone down yet but the day I brought the GS home on the U-Haul trailer, it tipped over and dented the tank on the trailer rail. 

I bought a new set of stands, fr & rr. Never owned a set before and didn't bother to research how they're used. So I tried to pick the front up first...... Y'all know the rest

Oh that's tragic!  I could totally see myself learning how to use stand the same way

I had my first drop relatively recently. My neighbor was cutting his front lawn as I was pulling into my driveway, so he had a front row seat for the show. I took an odd angle into my driveway to try to keep from having his grass clippings thrown up at me as I went past, and it all went downhill from there. I was still holding onto the front brake when I hit the gravel driveway. The front wheel promptly washed out, and I was on the ground before I even knew what happened. Scratched up the front fairing and the right side fairing, and ripped the Suzuki emblem sticker off the engine cover. Luckily nothing was hurt too badly, other than my pride. As a bonus, my neighbor was kind enough to hop off his mower (likely after he stopped chuckling under his breath) and help me stand my bike back up.

I buy this Maxim 1100 - freaking huge tall POS that weighs 900lbs. Or maybe 600 lbs.
I have the brains to load it in the truck backwards, so I can roll it off alone.
Then I take it to storage and as I am rolling it off sitting on it, I feel the drain bolt or other part of the motor will catch the ramp. So I hit the brake. The front brake. Oops, the ramp starts to move and I stomp the rear brake. Too late, the ramp is on by 1/4" of 3 aluminum prongs and I'm stuck top top with a 900 lb monster.
OK I think it over a few mins, and chance the roll, trying to gather speed so I'll jump off the thing.

Anyway, I managed to get the ramp off the truck without it flipping vertical, manage to sorta ride it like a surfer as the bike drops the 3' from the truck and managed to keep it all vertical. Whoooooo ....

Cool.
Buddha.

Quote from: The Buddha on May 12, 2016, 09:36:55 AM
Whoooooo ....

Cool.
Buddha.

I believe that's what you'd call a "pucker moment". 

I've been lucky so far, despite lots of near misses. Like the guy who swerved fully into my lane going head-on @ 50mph a few nights ago and left me hammering down on the brakes into the breakdown lane. Street riding is certainly educational.

My biggest facepalm was the Olaf Incident.

Few summers ago, it's my daughters birthday and she is obsessed with balloons. So I drive across town and get this giant Olaf balloon (from the movie Frozen). Anyway it looks exactly like this:



I get the bright idea to tie it on the back of my bike by that useless little ribbon it's attached to. I make it a mile down the road, watching his dumb face slapping around in the wind behind me the whole way. Then suddenly Olaf is gone. I'm coming up on a stop sign, I brake hard to a full stop while simultaneously turning my body around almost 180 degrees to see Olaf's face staring back at me as he soars off into the sky, like "whyyyyyy youuuuu bastaaaarrrdd??!!"!

Obviously this was a bad idea and I totally lose my balance, the bike starts to tip to the right... I jump off and manage to hold it up enough to just brush the pavement. No damage luckily, but also no Olaf. I can only hope it descended randomly to some other kid's birthday party miles away and they're like "woohoo!! Olaf's here!!"

Aside from another slip in the dirt/loss of balance in a dirt parking lot on my first riding season ever, I've been really lucky!

Been raining, and my bike has been sitting in a wet parking lot all day yesterday.  Today was forecast to be sunny and warm.  This morning I gave the saddle a squeeze and water came out, but I sucked it up and threw a leg over.

Half way to work I remembered:  my Corbin got soaked, but the factory saddle is sitting in a box in the garage.  It's held on by 2 screws and would have taken me seconds to change...

Well, when I got home my Corbin still made the inside of my legs a little damp, so I swapped it out for the stock saddle and hung the Corbin high in the garage where it's hot and dry.

Just a little facepalm moment.

I gotta remember they're there, maybe pick and choose the saddle depending on distance and conditions.
I should look into modifying the mounting bolts, maybe I can make it tool-less and quick-swappable.

Bail (Suzuki TS185) = Steep hill + Wet grass + snapped chain in sprocket

Moderate speed drop (Suzuki TS185) = long grass + water pipe at 30 degree angle to front wheel = wtf moment..

Low speed drop (GN250) = exiting T intersection on a wet morning right over the top of a steel road cover..
Low speed drop  (Suzuki 50cc ) = roundabout + acorns swept into blind-spot of said roundabout..
just moving drop (GS) = forgot to take disc lock off... = idiot..

Thankfully nothing high speed, just a few "moments" of panic when some gumby pulls a stunt like last second lane changes.  But that's normal I guess. 

Locked front wheel coming to stop on gravel. Fell over, couple of scrapes. No dramas. (Hyosung GV250)

Cut off by 4x4 at roundabout. "Sorry mate, I see you even try to look or pay attention to the road cause I'm a moron". Locked front and rears, ditched. First crack in fairing, pushed indicator through, mildly bruised, amazingly angry. (GS500F)

Hit gravel through fast corner down Mount Victoria. Lost the back, decided to ditch, let bike go. Reasonable damage, fairings stuffed, bent levers, blew up both fork seals, sprained and twisted ankle, sprained wrist, bruised arse. Somewhat angry. Strongly worded e-mail sent to council. Still waiting on reply 4 years later. (GS500F)