I need to grow a set. :(
good luck :thumb:
whew! saw the sad icon for a post from an and thought, "damn, another bike stolen." glad i was wrong. :icon_mrgreen:
What happened...
I'm a department manager where I work. I met this girl there almost two years ago and since then we've become good friends. Not "great" friends, but we hang out outside of work once in a great while. We chat online and text constantly too. I've grown to like her more than a friend. The problem is that she works in MY department. Therefore, I'm TECHNICALLY her 'boss'. We never really acted like 'boss and employee', and I'm sure she never really saw me as her 'boss'. But that never mattered 'cause I was definitely in a supervisor role.
I always thought that that was the reason why I never told her how I really feel. Also, a small part of me sometimes thinks that she's not interested in me.... but that same part of me has doubts due to how she acts around me sometimes....
Last week she told me (I actually found out on my own... she didn't want me to know yet) that she applied for a new job. I had a feeling that she was gonna get it... she's FANTASTIC at everything she does. She's pretty much the best person I've worked with in my years at that company. I know I'm gonna be SCREWED when she leaves 'cause that leaves me and two other people in that department. The other girls are not up to par with what needs to be done.... they're kinda like fillers to make sure there's someone there to watch over the department during their shifts.
All weekend I've been preparing myself to tell her how I feel if she got the job. Well... she got a call last night around 6:30pm from the company. She got the job. Today she told me that she gave her two weeks notice (her last day is the 31st).
I couldn't tell her about my feelings. Once she's gone, we I won't have the boss/employee hangup between us, and yet I couldn't say ANTYHING. I actually broke up with the last girl at the begining of Feb because I couldn't stop thinking about my friend. I knew that wasn't fair to my ex. Luckily we weren't too serious, so it didn't really matter too much.
Ive got so many things running through my mind right now, but I don't have the ability to organize them and put them in this post right now.
well first off i know exactly how you feel. first things first tell her how you feel theres only 2 things that can happen 1 she will tell you she likes you and things your a great guy. 2. she will tell you she likes you too but she think you should just be friends so not to mess up the friendship you already have. good luck man ;)
Man you need to butch up :nono:
I'm just playin, you need to tell her or you will always wonder what might have been, and that sucks.
Quote from: annguyen1981 on March 18, 2009, 04:41:02 PM
I need to grow a set. :(
i have no idea how to interpret what regular unleaded chicks have flowing through there minds (this is NOT a bash) let alone the super-unleaded variety like yerself. (still not a bash, you know this)....
but if she doesn't know, she's in for a wild ride when you tell her, and YOU ARE TELLING HER, right ?
put your big girl panties on (ok, the hawt ones!) and doit. doit. DOIT.
that is all.
oh, and take video if it turns out really hawt, ok ? ;)
Option 3:
I DON'T tell her, and she fades out of my life. For the last two years, every time I see her when I come into work, my day brightens a little. I know I can handle whatever crap is thrown my way when she's there. I know for a fact (and I've told her directly) that if it weren't for her, I'd either be fired or in jail. She laughs everytime I tell her that, but I know she believes that too.
Quote from: ohgood on March 18, 2009, 06:01:57 PM
Quote from: annguyen1981 on March 18, 2009, 04:41:02 PM
I need to grow a set. :(
i have no idea how to interpret what regular unleaded chicks have flowing through there minds (this is NOT a bash) let alone the super-unleaded variety like yerself. (still not a bash, you know this)....
but if she doesn't know, she's in for a wild ride when you tell her, and YOU ARE TELLING HER, right ?
put your big girl panties on (ok, the hawt ones!) and doit. doit. DOIT.
that is all.
oh, and take video if it turns out really hawt, ok ? ;)
I still don't know. Like I said, I was preparing to tell her in the event that she got the other job. Well... that happened. But I still wasn't able to tell her.
JUST TELL HER
(http://i519.photobucket.com/albums/u360/gstwin/dtp.jpg)
I don't know how... and being that I had the worst night of sleep, I'm not in any condition to think either.
You're making excuses, just like I would in that situation.
I think you should just be spontaneous with it, tell her how you really feel.
Being spontaneous is out of the question.... mainly because I can't stop thinking about her.
I'm gonna invite her out to dinner to celebrate her new job. If she accepts I think I'll tell her then. Idk.... I haven't really thought it through completely.
The dinner thing would work well. It would give you a chance to gauge how things are going and how she feels about you now that you don't work together. Then when the moment is right, go for it.
Yeah go out to dinner and just talk like you usually do. Sometime during dinner, don't wait for the "Right" moment because it never comes, just tell her that you have feelings for her, how you enjoy seeing her, and how when dating wasn't an option just seeing her brightened up your day. Basically just be yourself and try to gauge what she is thinking before you get to mushy, you don't want to come off as a potential stalker or anything.
I know how you are feeling but trust me, asking her out and her saying she isn't interested will offer you more piece of mind then not asking and never knowing what could have been.
NOW a story of encouragement:
When i was in college i was dating a Buddha Loves You, and i dumped her for a girl that i was interested in. She was nice, attractive, and basically the kind of girl i wanted to be with. I never got the balls to ask and eventually went back to the Buddha Loves You. She treated me like shaZam! and more but I thought I couldn't do any better. Well about a year after the divorce i was out with a friend and I saw the girl that I never asked out, never had the balls to. Well this time i walked over to the table and introduced myself, i didn't expect that she would remember me. Well she did and we talked over a couple beers about what we each had done over the past couple years. She was surprised to hear that i actually married Buddha Loves You, and I got the tidbit i didn't really want to ask for, that she was still single and in grad school. I gave her a ride back to her place and on the way asked if she would like to go out again, this time on a date. She looked like she was going to cry, and declared "Man i am lucky, you are such a nice guy and I didn't even want to go out tonight but i wouldn't change it for anything now." I simply responded "Haha, I thought i was the lucky one cause i never thought i would see you again and had lost my chance forever."
Today she is my wife and the two year anniversary is next month. It really doesn't feel like we have been together 5 years because it seems like yesterday when i was a nervous wreck in a bar approaching a girl i had a one in a million chance of saying yes. Had i not happened into her at a bar 2 years after and said you know what she might say no but at least i'll have an answer, i wouldn't have the wonderful wife i do today. Just be yourself and if she's not interested at least you know instead of beating yourself up over lost chances.
You're going to clean up the pile of barf next to my desk, right? It's your fault...
Dude, one day, you're going to look back on your life. You're going to remember the things you DID, for better or worse, and regret the things you DIDN'T DO, for better or worse. Aim to remember saying something - it's better than regretting not having done so.
Quote from: lawman on March 19, 2009, 08:01:30 AM
You're going to clean up the pile of barf next to my desk, right? It's your fault...
Dude, one day, you're going to look back on your life. You're going to remember the things you DID, for better or worse, and regret the things you DIDN'T DO, for better or worse. Aim to remember saying something - it's better than regretting not having done so.
That's what i was trying to get across, its really true
Quote from: natedawg120 on March 19, 2009, 07:53:28 AM
Yeah go out to dinner and just talk like you usually do. Sometime during dinner, don't wait for the "Right" moment because it never comes, just tell her that you have feelings for her, how you enjoy seeing her, and how when dating wasn't an option just seeing her brightened up your day. Basically just be yourself and try to gauge what she is thinking before you get to mushy, you don't want to come off as a potential stalker or anything.
I know how you are feeling but trust me, asking her out and her saying she isn't interested will offer you more piece of mind then not asking and never knowing what could have been.
NOW a story of encouragement:
When i was in college i was dating a Buddha Loves You, and i dumped her for a girl that i was interested in. She was nice, attractive, and basically the kind of girl i wanted to be with. I never got the balls to ask and eventually went back to the Buddha Loves You. She treated me like oh my goodness and more but I thought I couldn't do any better. Well about a year after the divorce i was out with a friend and I saw the girl that I never asked out, never had the balls to. Well this time i walked over to the table and introduced myself, i didn't expect that she would remember me. Well she did and we talked over a couple beers about what we each had done over the past couple years. She was surprised to hear that i actually married Buddha Loves You, and I got the tidbit i didn't really want to ask for, that she was still single and in grad school. I gave her a ride back to her place and on the way asked if she would like to go out again, this time on a date. She looked like she was going to cry, and declared "Man i am lucky, you are such a nice guy and I didn't even want to go out tonight but i wouldn't change it for anything now." I simply responded "Haha, I thought i was the lucky one cause i never thought i would see you again and had lost my chance forever."
Today she is my wife and the two year anniversary is next month. It really doesn't feel like we have been together 5 years because it seems like yesterday when i was a nervous wreck in a bar approaching a girl i had a one in a million chance of saying yes. Had i not happened into her at a bar 2 years after and said you know what she might say no but at least i'll have an answer, i wouldn't have the wonderful wife i do today. Just be yourself and if she's not interested at least you know instead of beating yourself up over lost chances.
Nice job.
Me I met my wife when I was 16. She was 14 at the time. We dated for years and in 1999 we tied the knot and our 10 year anniversary is coming up in Sept. I am SO glad I had the guts to take the chance and speak up or who knows where I would be.
Long end short ............ TAKE A CHANCE OR YOU WILL REGRET IT.
:sad:
Few things are worse than those self-torturing "What-ifs"
Honestly...there is SOOOOOO much more to gain out of asking her than there is to lose. This is one of those situations that define a man.
Let's pretend you don't ask her...and you two remain friends and go out occassionally or always talk online. There will come a day when some guy does ask her. And then you will be kicking yourself in the ass...and you will always have some sort of resentment.
She sounds like a great catch. Don't let her get away!
Ann,
What's the deal? Are you going to tell her or not? The choices are simple. You've already laid out the options. Just choose one.
If you are asking for advise, I vote you just tell her how you feel. If you're looking for help, give me her number and I'll tell her how you feel. Life is too short, just go for it!
-Porkchop
and with a name like ^^^ life is real short cuz who dont like chops :cheers:
Quote from: Streebek on March 19, 2009, 09:47:44 AM
:sad:
Few things are worse than those self-torturing "What-ifs"
Honestly...there is SOOOOOO much more to gain out of asking her than there is to lose. This is one of those situations that define a man.
Let's pretend you don't ask her...and you two remain friends and go out occassionally or always talk online. There will come a day when some guy does ask her. And then you will be kicking yourself in the ass...and you will always have some sort of resentment.
She sounds like a great catch. Don't let her get away!
I always think of when I'd ask 'what if' and know that I'd beat myself up for it... I never even thought about that senario.
She IS a great catch. Smart. Funny. Generous. But more importantly I like what I feel like when I'm around her and she makes me want to be a better person. That sounds selfish, but that's the truth.
I just realized... Am I giving a woman named Ann advice about women...? ;)
No. I'm a guy. She's a GREAT girl. My name is An. Stop thinking about that. It'll NEVER happen. heh
Quote from: lawman on March 19, 2009, 02:24:35 PM
I just realized... Am I giving a woman named Ann advice about women...? ;)
Well if you don't tell her then you should be Ann. :tongue2:
FUQ. I'm torturing myself too much over this. One minute I tell myself that I'll say something, the next minute I have doubts. FUQ FUQ FUQ.
(PS. I've been swearing LESS because she's in my life. She always knows how to make me smile... I'm scared that if she's gone out of my life, I'll just snap on day.)
dude just tell her the worst thing that could happen is she wont feel the same way, i mean come on bud you can do it :wink:
or she could kick your a$$ :icon_twisted:
(http://planetsmilies.net/tongue-smiley-8865.gif)
Damn if you don't do I'll kick your A$$! It is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all!
Mary
Quote from: Toogoofy317 on March 19, 2009, 06:21:20 PM
Damn if you don't do I'll kick your A$$! It is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all!
Mary
Right now my response to that is "blah blah blah". No offense to you. Maybe it's better to just try and move on without telling her a single thing.
I say do it! The dinner idea is good... Offer to take her out to celebrate the new job and see where it goes. Holding it in isnt going to get you anywhere... You will feel soooo much better if you just get it off your chest :cheers:
Worst case she says no deal... You shouldnt feel any worse about it then you do now :thumb:
No I did and let him go and think about him alot. It sucks because we have been best friends for seven years but it will never be. When you can finish each other's thoughts. Know them better than anybody else. He was the only person that came to the hospital when I was evaluated for heart transplant. but, neither had the courageto change to realationship because of the friendship. Driving me three hours to a doctor's appointment and holding my hand while ralphing in a tin can all the way up.. Now that is a friend. I just feel complete with him but from day one we knew it couldn't happen but that doesn't make it hurt anyless
A long painful story that will not end. Only thing in my life I've regretted is not getting up the guts to fight for him!
I guess this sums it up
The Time to Love
A day, a month, a year.
What is the difference with love?
Nothing to most, but everything you fear.
You feel years are needed to show true love.
But just a day or even a minute with you,
Would be cherished more than the years,
Where friends and family were too few.
Because in the past day by day was in fear.
My love will be that of forever,
Whether it is a day or a year.
The seconds we share can never,
Be forgotten but in parting I will shed tears.
For life without you is not to bear.
If I must walk away from our love,
Without ever knowing what we are,
Or what may become of our love.
Mary
Ok. Well...if you're not going to do anything...She's fair game right? :woohoo:
Quote from: Toogoofy317 on March 20, 2009, 12:00:17 AM
No I did and let him go and think about him alot. It sucks because we have been best friends for seven years but it will never be. When you can finish each other's thoughts. Know them better than anybody else. He was the only person that came to the hospital when I was evaluated for heart transplant. but, neither had the courageto change to realationship because of the friendship. Driving me three hours to a doctor's appointment and holding my hand while ralphing in a tin can all the way up.. Now that is a friend. I just feel complete with him but from day one we knew it couldn't happen but that doesn't make it hurt anyless
A long painful story that will not end. Only thing in my life I've regretted is not getting up the guts to fight for him!
I guess this sums it up
The Time to Love
A day, a month, a year.
What is the difference with love?
Nothing to most, but everything you fear.
You feel years are needed to show true love.
But just a day or even a minute with you,
Would be cherished more than the years,
Where friends and family were too few.
Because in the past day by day was in fear.
My love will be that of forever,
Whether it is a day or a year.
The seconds we share can never,
Be forgotten but in parting I will shed tears.
For life without you is not to bear.
If I must walk away from our love,
Without ever knowing what we are,
Or what may become of our love.
Mary
Wow. That really hit the spot. I never realized it, but most of the time, we know what the other is thinking when it comes to sentences. When ever I'm looking for something(I'm very absent minded), it seems like she know exactly what I'm looking for and either holds it up and tells me where something is.
QuoteWow. That really hit the spot. I never realized it, but most of the time, we know what the other is thinking when it comes to sentences. When ever I'm looking for something(I'm very absent minded), it seems like she know exactly what I'm looking for and either holds it up and tells me where something is.
Then the answer is smacking you in the face...tell her. Tell her now!
:icon_neutral: BLEEEEEECCHHHHH!!!!
YOU PEOPLE ARE CLEANING THAT UP!!!
Quote from: annguyen1981 on March 20, 2009, 06:15:21 AM
Quote from: Toogoofy317 on March 20, 2009, 12:00:17 AM
No I did and let him go and think about him alot. It sucks because we have been best friends for seven years but it will never be. When you can finish each other's thoughts. Know them better than anybody else. He was the only person that came to the hospital when I was evaluated for heart transplant. but, neither had the courageto change to realationship because of the friendship. Driving me three hours to a doctor's appointment and holding my hand while ralphing in a tin can all the way up.. Now that is a friend. I just feel complete with him but from day one we knew it couldn't happen but that doesn't make it hurt anyless
A long painful story that will not end. Only thing in my life I've regretted is not getting up the guts to fight for him!
I guess this sums it up
The Time to Love
A day, a month, a year.
What is the difference with love?
Nothing to most, but everything you fear.
You feel years are needed to show true love.
But just a day or even a minute with you,
Would be cherished more than the years,
Where friends and family were too few.
Because in the past day by day was in fear.
My love will be that of forever,
Whether it is a day or a year.
The seconds we share can never,
Be forgotten but in parting I will shed tears.
For life without you is not to bear.
If I must walk away from our love,
Without ever knowing what we are,
Or what may become of our love.
Mary
Wow. That really hit the spot. I never realized it, but most of the time, we know what the other is thinking when it comes to sentences. When ever I'm looking for something(I'm very absent minded), it seems like she know exactly what I'm looking for and either holds it up and tells me where something is.
pinky finger to mouth...
Joooo comweeeeete me ;)
i loose stuff all the time. the wife, maw-in-law, co-workers, and kids all find stuff for me. i lost a 12" rule for three days. the old geezer i'm replacing pointed to it, tucked behind an I-beam, behind a 14 foot boring mill, about 3 inches from a crack in the steel that drops 20' or so down below, forever darkness.
if you find someone that knows where your keys are, marry them. period. :)
Today was the first day working with her since she told me of her two-week notice. It was a LOT easier on me. Everything went like it always does... I do something stupid, she makes fun of me for it... I lose something, she points to it and laughs... etc.
But somehow I couldn't say anything still. Like I said before, I need to grow a set. :(
:2guns: :technical: :2guns:
1st, stop beating yourself up. It ain't going to look very attractive, yes?
2nd, look back at what you wrote earlier:
Quote from: annguyen1981 on March 18, 2009, 06:11:53 PM
For the last two years, every time I see her when I come into work, my day brightens a little. I know I can handle whatever crap is thrown my way when she's there. I know for a fact (and I've told her directly) that if it weren't for her, I'd either be fired or in jail. She laughs everytime I tell her that, but I know she believes that too.
That's what you should tell her.
Tell her you think about her a lot. Tell her it makes you feel happy. It's the truth. Just tell her the truth, even if it means telling her that you're nervous about telling her! You think she doesn't get nervous about sharing things too? She can understand that exactly!
That's my 1st message to you. Here's the 2nd:
I once wrestled with pain and angst and fear over talking to a girl I liked. I finally worked up the nerve to ask her out. I wasn't very smooth about it (I was nervous). Did it go well? Not on your life. She actually laughed at me! I was hurt and rejected and even now (almost 20 years later) I still wince when I think about it! It was hard. But you know what else? The sun came up the next day, the world kept turning, and life went on. She and I are still friends. Maybe better now than back then, even. Meanwhile, I went on to fall in love with the most wonderful girl in the world (yeah I know, you think you've found her, but really the most wonderful one is right here with me) and we married, had kids, lived, loved, laughed and the whole bit.
Moral of the story? I don't think there's a moral. Just this: What have you got to lose? Take a chance. Talk to her, share your feelings, and take the risk -- it's pretty small. If she feels the same way then you've hit the jackpot. If she doesn't feel the same way, well -- would you want to be in a relationship with someone who isn't interested ?? !! Better to find out up front and you don't have to keep pining over her.
You can do it. Just be yourself. If she is interested in you, then its YOU, YOURSELF that she wants to talk to.
I think that another thing I'm nervous about is just babbling on and on about crap... I'm not a very good speaker. I can write VERY well, but when it comes to speaking... forget it. I'd feel more comfortable writing it in an email or note, but I think that's pretty lame.
I think she knows that I babble when I'm nervous... I like your idea of telling her that straight up. Thankz 5th.... you've brought up some good pointers.
Higher free test levels work miracles for your confidence.
Write it down and give it to her. I'm krap at trying to verbally tell people I care about important things. Ironic I was a public speaker at one of my old jobs. I can talk krap all day but if it means something not a word. I'll just stand and stare.
then if she laughs at you you won't see it!
Mary
Quote from: Toogoofy317 on March 20, 2009, 10:41:57 PM
Write it down and give it to her. I'm krap at trying to verbally tell people I care about important things. Ironic I was a public speaker at one of my old jobs. I can talk krap all day but if it means something not a word. I'll just stand and stare.
then if she laughs at you you won't see it!
Mary
theres an idea. hell get her a card, a congrats card of sorts, and tell her there. write what you wish, and somehow include your number ;)
you can always text her. if you need you can borrow my balls just have then back by 11pm i need then 5 nights a week :flipoff: :flipoff: :flipoff: :flipoff: :flipoff: :flipoff: :flipoff:
Dammit just think some sort of shaZam! up.What do you have to lose either way.Look at it this way your not having to Keep Her Ass warm or feed Her like I'm having to do to try to get Her.OK I'm a f%$king Dumbass.This one would be reallly friggin Easy for my Sorry Ass.An Who does She Have in Her Life Besides you? Right now I've made it super Hard on myself on Who I've Chosen.It's Costing me (Which for who it is for it Doesn't matter.) I still have a Super Slim Chance in f%$king Hell with this Girl.Whether I do get her or not at least I tried and we will Part as Friends.A Friend that I never knew would have Existed.Still she means a Lot to me.A Phone call from Her means a whole lot to me In my Pitiful f%$king Existence.Whether you Succeed or not you f%$king tried.If you don't Succeed what Have you lost?She still fades Away.If you do Succeed what have you Gained? You have someone in your life.Something a lot of people don't have.Something that should mean alot to everyone.Listen to me An.I am not a Religious person but I pray to God many hours a Day to put this one in my life.Praying to a God to releive the torture in our lives.Praying to a God that seems that Has only taken Away from me and Never given to me.Well yeah He gave me life.A Life to Ask for Other Things.So far this is just one of a Couple of things I've had to Ask him for.Everything Else well I worked out on my own.
Oh and If you need Balls........... Drink a f%$king Beer and get it over with.
Cards? Yeah but they only work to a Certain Extent.Not saying Everyone is wrong but it really could work in your case.In my Experience well all I get is "Thats so Sweet" Or "Thats Cute".Jewlery? Well I've always gotten Spit at with Jewlery. :dunno_black:
Look, damn the words, just say it. The less of a production, the better. Just tell her whats on your mind, and it will flow. Dont worry. If you feel this strongly for her, itll show. No matter if you babble or not. Some girls think nervous babblign is cute. Its also a sign of tellign the truth spontaneously in that moment. so suck it, and go for it. No need for a pair. Just nerves. Youll breathe a huge sigh of relief when you flop into bed later that night. :thumb:
Courage isnt the abscence of fear, it is overcoming that fear and doing what must be done.
As I always say. Nothign to it but to do it.
' the F outta here! Seriously? Is this for real?
An,
She picked up on it a LOOOONG time ago. She's a woman; it's what they do. She's probably just annoyed by now.
It's what happens when you don't use what you've been given.
Tell her something. Who gives a sh!t what you say. She sure doesn't.
Or don't, then be prepared to compare every woman you meet to her.
Jesus. You're single. You can say whatever the hell you want. Nobody cares. Hell, they EXPECT you too.
It only takes them about 20 seconds to decide whether they're going to sleep with you. If she's decided no, then she's gonna make fun of you regardless, even if you're quiet. If she's decided she likes you, then it's your loss.
She likes you, or she wouldn't have had conversation with you. That is, unless she's using you for favors or to build her own confidence or she thinks you're harmless (or ghey). It's the first rule.
They believe that talking to you is the first move, and they expect you to follow up. And, she's only gonna wait for so long. The more attractive she feels, the less she's gonna wait. That's the second rule.
What you're doing right now is the most unattractive thing that women find about men. It's number 1, on the top of every list. Lack of confidence.
Not some women, not most women. ALL WOMEN.
It doesn't matter exactly what you say, as long as you say something that doesn't make her feel cheap. So, say what you think, and stick by it. If she doesn't like it, then it's her loss. That's rule number three.
She's already picked up on your confidence level a long time ago, like I said. She didn't mind it to start with, because she thinks that's as good as she can get. The longer you go without doing something about it, the more she thinks that she can do better. She picked up on it from your mannerisms, so don't fool yourself that it's something different.
It's a test. It's what they do. And, they all do it. There's one for face and body, your income, your butt, etc, etc.
The older they get, the easier the tests get.
You passed her tests, or she would be avoiding you at all costs.
So, see? They're doing all the work for you. All you need to do is to say something.
And pay attention to Spc.
I mean, poems? Seriously? Cards? Blah.
Man, YOU'RE the one that gets to pick and choose. Start believing it.
as tehy say in msot marriage ceremonies, " speak now, or forever hold your piece" idk if it was piece or peace. but either way you get my point
Wow I'm glad Wladziu can read ALL women's minds. As a matter-of-fact it takes me a hell of alot longer than 20 seconds to decide if I'm gonna sleep with you. Honestly, what really turns me off and actually pisses me off is a man who is to damned confident and think they are God's gift to women. A poem or a heart felt letter goes a lot further than he baby you ready to fu(k type confidence.
Just be who you are and nobody else. We can't tell you what to do it's your life and your regrets.
Mary
Aww, Mary. I'm touched. Does this mean you like me?
Cause, I've been nicer to you than anyone on this board. Or, are you still deciding, pending a sweet poem or heart-felt letter?
Nobody's telling him to act like a man-whore. Just ask her out for ice cream, to get to know her better outside of work. And, if it doesn't work then chalk it up as practice, and he can at least feel like he did something confidently. If he writes her a stupid poem or something and she rejects him, how do you think that would feel? Of course, a female might not be concerned with this fella's feelings post-rejection, but some of us are very familiar. It's how the rules came into being, and there are far more of them than I can remember.
Let's say you can't stand me, Mary, but I think you like me. I give you a poem about birds and rabbits or something. You laugh about it with your friends, and post it on the company bulletin board.
Now, let's say I just man up and ask you a simple question. You say no and flip your hair (or some other thing, whatever). I may feel a little crappy, but I can still walk away with more of my confidence intact. At least I approached a situation behaving like a man and not a 15-yr old girl. It's the whole "nice guys never get the girl" subject, really. I, and others, have heard too much (and have been through too much) to believe otherwise.
Besides, Mary, I tried the poem and letter garbage when I was a teenager. It never works.
My wife of 9 years, however... I met her by going up and kissing her.
Of course, she says that she would have rather had a poem or a song or something, but that's AFTER she's wearing my Grandma's Russian-gold wedding band.
The proof is in the pudding, as they say.
Oh dear god I disappear for a week or two and this is what I come back to. *sighs*
Dude first off women like a man to be a man, you don't need to grunt and drag he about by the hair but definately do not act effiminate when you talk to her about this. Sensitive attentive and thoughtful is one thing but sappy poetry won't be taken seriously. Don't cheapen it by being cliche be yourself with a dose of confidence that's all.
Second she already knows you like her and is obviously waiting for you to say something, which means she wants you to be a man sack up and broach the subject.
If you don't follow through I am gonna come ball punch you and reclaim your man card.
Sup BP. Haven't seen ya for a while... of course I haven't been on here much.
You can have my man card... It seems that I can't use it.
So after not being able to invite her to dinner or tell her how I feel Saturday and today, I was ready to just give up (hence my previous post^^^).
I was texted another friend (only two friends know about my problem), and I was able to be convinced to just text her an invite to dinner as a treat for leaving the shyt-hole.
I dont feel as stressed out right now... not sure why. I haven't heard back from her yet (sometimes she doesn't reply for a day), but I'm not depressed about how stupid I am or anything like that. strange.
On a side note: I really hope this doesn't end like my previous attempt at a relationship with a friend... My BEST friend back then. I told her how I felt 8 years ago, and we went out on dates a few times, but we drifted apart. I haven't seen her in about 7 years. I don't regret telling her, but I do regret ruining a great friendship.
Start with, "Hey babe, let's screw."... It will all be up from there... :icon_twisted:
uh...
Yeah... the correct statement there would be "It'll be all OVER from there..."
Quote from: annguyen1981 on March 23, 2009, 06:18:11 PM
uh...
Yeah... the correct statement there would be "It'll be all OVER from there..."
+1 ..... AND THEN
Quote from: natedawg120 on March 23, 2009, 08:24:10 PM
Quote from: annguyen1981 on March 23, 2009, 06:18:11 PM
uh...
Yeah... the correct statement there would be "It'll be all OVER from there..."
+1 ..... AND THEN
I think I'd be leaving the room with two black eyes if I ever said anything like that to her with our current friendship. And it'd probably be a LOT more painful than the two times she's punched me in the head (long story).
Do me a favor dont make me drive that far just talk to the girl. You sound like me when I was 14. Nothing ventured nothing gained, trust me the worst a girl can say is no, your fears are irrational and unfounded. If you're that close quit worrying and dive right in. If it doesn't work out remember womwn are like buses, there will be another round shortly.
Do you do any public speaking? You say you're a manager so I assume you have to give verbal reports/presentations at board or management meetings in front of others.
If not part of your problem lies in effective communication. My son will not have a cell phone with interent and text it is a huge detriment to developing interpersonal communication skills and effective communication.
If this is the case I would suggest Toastmasters club meetings.
I'm not 100% worried that she won't like me for more than just a friend... I'm worried that one of the best things in my life will be lost due to stupid feelings. :(
She didn't work today... it was complete HELL. No one to make me smile. No one to rant to (that understands). No smile to look at to cheer me up.
Ok so what if she doesn't like you as anything but a friend, be friends. She's changing jobs soon anyway so you gonna be depressed your entire life when she isn't around everyday? Plus if she just wants to be friends then you can get your butt ou ttheir and start talking to other girls. Whats the downside she likes you enough to date, move in you get to see her regularly and be happy, or you get to still be friends see each other occasionally and you go out and meet other girls and talk to them and eventually find that person where you both click? Theres no downside to understanding where you stand dude. she's not he last girl on earth.
Thankz BP. That's the butt kicking I kinda needed. :cheers:
I think the inviting out with friend's is a wonderful idea. I know all the places I worked at the people that were liked and worked good we always threw a party for so at that point toward the end of the night just take her aside and let her know.
And no I wouldn't have said the poem stuff if he hadn't known her for over three years. He knows if she'd be that "type" of girl. Very very few people have seen my poems I don't even know why I posted one on here that was a first.
And Wladizu sorry nowhere near my type. Hope that doesn't hurt you're feelings if not I could just come over and kick you in the nutz like a few months ago at Halloween Horror nights. Thank goodness my police "protector" was there to laugh. You ever come up behind me and lick my neck and it's over! Guy started screaming I'm gonna sue you and the cop was like I didn't see anything la la la! JK wouldn't do that to a fellow GSer. But, if I was to pick a guy on here it would be Yama hands down. Talk about a guy with empathy and treats people with respect even when views are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Beer Garage, respite, and Loki are great people I've talked to on here. Would have said pronator too but I just realized that uhm yeah she's a girl lol! Couldn't figure how those boots were to big for a guy my medications playing tricks on me again. But, yeah we got a good group here.
Now An go get her so we can gripe about something else! Do you want me to give her a call you know the woman to woman thing!
Mary
I do like a man to be a man. Just that a man no pretending to be the alpha male and definately
Well I liked your poems Mary and I am happily married so not hitting on you.
An just do something already or move on bro.
Horrible idea having friends out with you sorry goofy but I strongly disagree, dont do a movie either do something where you have the oppurtunity to interact and visit and be sure you can give her your undivided attention. Turn your cell phone off seriously I may not be the brightest guy in the world but I know what it takes to get the girl. I met my wife the very first time she invited me to spend 4th of July at her grandparents cabin on the lake. We sat on the dock and fished and got to know each other. We have been inseperable ever since. Movies are cliche and a loss of multiple hours of valuable communication time. Friends bring on undue pressure and potential embarressment and both parties can feel uncomfortable being totally honest.
Hmm, weird cause when I worked in Disney for eight years. I saw four marriages occur out of our "parties" not to mention the couples that did happen but formulate to a marriage A couple of hours we're all together then people break off in small groups then well you know what sometimes happens. Maybe it was all that pixie dust.
Just an observance that seems to work down here!
Mary
I agree with BP regarding movies... They're not that great for a date... you can't really get to know someone during a movie.
Mary - it's not a group of work friends invite... just me and her. (at least I hope it will be, if she accepts).
Quote from: bettingpython on March 24, 2009, 08:40:16 PM
Horrible idea having friends out with you sorry goofy but I strongly disagree, dont do a movie either do something where you have the oppurtunity to interact and visit and be sure you can give her your undivided attention. Turn your cell phone off seriously I may not be the brightest guy in the world but I know what it takes to get the girl. I met my wife the very first time she invited me to spend 4th of July at her grandparents cabin on the lake. We sat on the dock and fished and got to know each other. We have been inseperable ever since. Movies are cliche and a loss of multiple hours of valuable communication time. Friends bring on undue pressure and potential embarressment and both parties can feel uncomfortable being totally honest.
DAMN m8 sage advice there
You're a Buddha Loves You An. Just f%$king ask her and don't take no for an answer.
or as larry the cable guy says, " git-er-done" worst she can say is no. but even then at least youll know :angel:
Hey dude, forget all this advice you're getting here. Just go talk to her and get it over with.
:icon_razz:
That IS the advice he's getting here.
Some of us are just a little more verbose than others. Boredom's a b!tch.
Quote from: 5thAve on March 25, 2009, 05:59:00 AM
Hey dude, forget all this advice you're getting here. Just go talk to her and get it over with.
:icon_razz:
+1 and lets move on. :flipoff:
Ok. I asked her about the dinner invite, and that reminded her about the gathering of a few people from work tomorrow night at an Uno's. (I haven't seen her since Monday)
The only problem is there are two other girls that are gonna be there... and they'll probably take most of her attention away. I'm gonna just tell her I can't make it tomorrow night, but I'll insist that I take her out early next week to make up for it. With the "rsvp" list to tomorrow night's late dinner, I doubt I'll have any 1 on 1 time to talk to her.
How did it go?
yeah i wanna know how the saga ends. just remember the worst she can say is ( Let's just stay friends) :thumb:
Quoteyeah i wanna know how the saga ends. just remember the worst she can say is ( Let's just stay friends)
Actually, the worst thing she could say is "...and here is the restraining order. Stop bothering me." but I don't think it will come to that.
Just like everyone else, I'd like to find out what happens not just because I've invested my time in reading four pages of posts over the past couple of days but because I like stories where the guy get the girl and they lived happily ever after.
Hey An,
I didn't read all the replies, just giving you my take on this.
Just suck it up and ask her out or shut up about her.
What do you have to lose if you ask her out anyway? She won't be working with you anymore. At her new job she's probally going to meet some guy who will ask her out and there goes your chance.
Quote from: Porkchop on March 26, 2009, 01:29:56 PM
Quoteyeah i wanna know how the saga ends. just remember the worst she can say is ( Let's just stay friends)
Actually, the worst thing she could say is "...and here is the restraining order. Stop bothering me." but I don't think it will come to that.
Just like everyone else, I'd like to find out what happens not just because I've invested my time in reading four pages of posts over the past couple of days but because I like stories where the guy get the girl and they lived happily ever after.
I like stories where the guy is about to get the girl and then has a big gunfight with gansters that leads to some crazy karate action in a warehouse... It's best when the girl gets killed in the process. PM me if that happens in this case.
This is good news. Now you can date her, and yes, she's at least mildly interested. I don't hang-out with my boss after hours and we don't text each other all day like teenagers. He's also a man, but never mind. I think I made my point. Lawman is absolutely correct. If you don't tell her you'll regret it and wonder "what if" for the rest of your life, and that's torture.
Now find your nuts and tell her you want to take her to dinner to celebrate her new job. How can she say no? You will have date #1 out of the way. Don't forget to kiss her goodnight, and tell her you've wanted to do that ever since you met her. :kiss3:
Listen to the old man.
I had the same problem when I was younger. I'm outgoing and chatty, but when I liked a girl a lot I felt intimidated and couldn't take the leap. I got over it. So can you. I have a steady girl for the last 3 years but I dated more women in my 40's than I can count, and I still sometimes kick myself at how shy around women I was before. Had I not dated so much I probably never would have learned what kind of woman I'm actually compatible with, and I became a better boyfriend in the process. 3 years and not an argument yet. I met Naomi shortly before your friend Rich died.
Now stop thinking so damn much and do what I, and most of the others, are telling you. And of course, do keep us posted.
Just do like the 40 year old Virgin! Watch the movie than act! LOL!
I'm rooting for ya An!
Mary
As am i an., and btw the sheep are REALLY pullin for yaq. to get the girl :thumb:
:(
I'm really sure that she DOESN'T have the same feelings for me. Telling her can only cause harm.
The way I see it, I've got two options:
1) Tell her and she drifts away real quick. The only good thing that comes out of this is that I "have no regrets".
2) I don't tell her. We remain friends, but we don't hangout/talk/whatever as much. Sure, it'll take me longer to get over her, but I eventually WILL get over her.
I'm pulling for you, An.
But, d@mn.
(http://i450.photobucket.com/albums/qq230/wladziu-cherry/facepalm.jpg)
I always feel that its better to know for certain than to not know and replay the what ifs in my mind. Id personally just f%$king tell her. If she fades off...so be it. once you catch the love bug for someone, you cant be just friends. either way it goes...believe me...the friendship is done. you either move up or move on homie.
How old Is She? Either PM me Her Address,I come put the moves on or you get Her.Simple as that.You want Her Get her or let someone Else Sweep Her up.I can go into all of the Bullshit but if you think you have a chance Grab Her.If you don't Try to grab Her Anyway.
When it all boils Down....... How do you really f^%k I N ' feel. about Her.If Any Doubts walk Away and live Lonely.Try? Well then try.If It doesn't work out then what the f^%k Your Still lonely.If it works out then your still going to be f^%k I N' miserable.Either way its going to be a Lose lose Situation.OK now go and make your Mind up. In the words of Sublime "f^%k it!fight it!its all the same the name of Louie Dog is the only way to stay sane.Let the Lovin let the lovin come back to me"
Quote from: Jughead on March 27, 2009, 10:43:51 PM
How old Is She? Either PM me Her Address,I come put the moves on or you get Her.Simple as that.You want Her Get her or let someone Else Sweep Her up.I can go into all of the Bulloh my goodness but if you think you have a chance Grab Her.If you don't Try to grab Her Anyway.
When it all boils Down....... How do you really f^%k I N ' feel. about Her.If Any Doubts walk Away and live Lonely.Try? Well then try.If It doesn't work out then what the f^%k Your Still lonely.If it works out then your still going to be f^%k I N' miserable.Either way its going to be a Lose lose Situation.OK now go and make your Mind up. In the words of Sublime "f^%k it!fight it!its all the same the name of Louie Dog is the only way to stay sane.Let the Lovin let the lovin come back to me"
Geezus don't pay any Attention to what I posted.I don't quite remember Coming Home this Morning and don't remember what I was trying to say either. :confused: :confused: :icon_lol: Damn Moonshine and Beer and Scotch and..... :dunno_black: :dunno_black: :dunno_black:
Don't worry Juggie... I didn't really understand what you posted. heh.
So I've got two more days to man up and tell her SOMETHING. Monday and Tuesday. I'm just pissed at myself for not being able to do what I need to do.
OK, here's what you're gonna do. Find your nearest farm. Shoot the bull. Chop his balls off and take em home. Throw em in the blender until you get a nice smooth liquid. Inject it. (If you can get the balls off the bull without killing or sedating it you don't really need to do this you just need to stop being such a whiney fuch)
An maybe im naive BUT even if she doesnt have teh same feelings toward you. i doubt it will do harm to tell her. i basically did the same thing within the past few days, and am awaiting the answer/esults lol :embarassed: GO FOR IT
Wait, wait! You've got it!
Quote from: annguyen1981 on March 28, 2009, 06:35:53 PM
So I've got two more days to man up and tell her SOMETHING. Monday and Tuesday. I'm just pissed at myself for not being able to do what I need to do.
You see what that feels like?
That's your manhood. It's saying, "An... An... Stop being a whiney fuch... An... You've forgotten about me... And why your eyes are in the front of your head... An..."
Remember when you were saying that you'd get over her?
You know you're wrong when even your own subconscious is pissed at you...
Come on, buddy!
Quote from: wladziu on March 29, 2009, 09:24:05 AM
Wait, wait! You've got it!
Quote from: annguyen1981 on March 28, 2009, 06:35:53 PM
So I've got two more days to man up and tell her SOMETHING. Monday and Tuesday. I'm just pissed at myself for not being able to do what I need to do.
You see what that feels like?
That's your manhood. It's saying, "An... An... Stop being a whiney fuch... An... You've forgotten about me... And why your eyes are in the front of your head... An..."
Remember when you were saying that you'd get over her?
You know you're wrong when even your own subconscious is pissed at you...
Come on, buddy!
Thats also the same feeling you will feel for a very very very long time if you say nothing. Do you wanna live with that feeling?
Quote from: wladziu on March 29, 2009, 09:24:05 AM
Wait, wait! You've got it!
Quote from: annguyen1981 on March 28, 2009, 06:35:53 PM
So I've got two more days to man up and tell her SOMETHING. Monday and Tuesday. I'm just pissed at myself for not being able to do what I need to do.
You see what that feels like?
That's your manhood. It's saying, "An... An... Stop being a whiney fuch... An... You've forgotten about me... And why your eyes are in the front of your head... An..."
Remember when you were saying that you'd get over her?
You know you're wrong when even your own subconscious is pissed at you...
Come on, buddy!
See An, even our resident @$$hole can be wise too :whisper: 8)
FUQ ME.
All I could muster up today was "My day brightens up each time I see you". I was trying to tell her more, then she asked me if I was gonna cry. lol. I guess she couldn't tell I was nervous as fuq.
I absolutely HAVE TO tell her tomorow. otherwise there will be a man card up for grabs in the For Sale section.
Can I be President @$$hole? It's close to resident, but supports my ego better.
Quote from: wladziu on March 30, 2009, 06:18:56 PM
Can I be President @$$hole? It's close to resident, but supports my ego better.
No Obama already has that title. :tongue2:
Quote from: cafeboy on March 30, 2009, 06:31:12 PM
Quote from: wladziu on March 30, 2009, 06:18:56 PM
Can I be President @$$hole? It's close to resident, but supports my ego better.
No Obama already has that title. :tongue2:
LOL PWNED, well he can always be "Vice president @$$hole" then
Only until I can pay a black woman with a big hat to crown me.
That's all I've got. :dunno_white:
Good one, Cafeboy.
lol indeed wladziu you need a custom title, something involving @$$hole somewhere in it :thumb:
Back on topic:
An, you never had a man card in the first place so no need to surrender it. Do yourself a favor and take the 6 off a dock at 160mph. :thumb:
Dude! taht was a good start...ummm....but were you really about to cry. seriously? wow. umm. dude. no turnign back now.
Quote from: spc on March 30, 2009, 09:13:45 PM
Back on topic:
An, you never had a man card in the first place so no need to surrender it. Do yourself a favor and take the 6 off a dock at 160mph. :thumb:
Would prolly skip across to the other side
HAHA. No. I wasn't gonna cry. I was really nervous about sayign something.
Wish me luck today... I'm heading to work from 8-5. She's in at 11... I'm gonna tell her as soon as possible when she comes in... the less time for me to think about it, the better.
Good luck, if you dont, ill kick your e-ass, and your e-sheep will e-laugh :wink:
fuq. I'm more nervous than yesterday.... I got her a card last week, but I STILL don't know what I'm gonna write.... fuq mi.
1. horrible advice given by mary--f off mary
2. self-recognition barf
3. ask her out anyway
4. never had a chance
6.Set goals
7.forget about it
8.Gain experience
9. ? ? ?
10. PROFIT
you should get some Swagger by old Spice, LL Cool J used to be like you until he started using it, now look at him.....nice
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v645/drumsnotjames/3294731109_eb0ba073d7.jpg)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrSNzSkvi70
seriously man, is it that hard to just ask her out for coffee or something? thats very non-intimidating (you guys could even meet there so you don't have that awkwardly quiet drive) you're thinking about it too much and blowing it wayyy out of proportion, just be a friggin man and ask her out.....dont say anything else......just ask if she would like to go out to coffee, lunch, diving with the dolphins, etc. and when she says "sure" you say "great, i'll pick you up tomorrow at 3.....you have a motorcycle jacket and helmet right?"
p.s.- you really should get some Swagger by Old Spice, you need all the help you can get ;) good luck!! :thumb:
Wasting your time, fellas...
Good luck An, you won't know until you ask and if you never ask you will never know.
oh and how the hell can any one who doesn't know An or this girl personally say he has no chance, the only way he has no chance is if he doesn't ask. So to all the pessimists who would rather post BS or how f%&ked in the a An is rather than just prod him to ask already, go f%$k yourselves
Quote from: nightrider on March 31, 2009, 04:52:55 AM
1. horrible advice given by mary--f off mary
2. self-recognition barf
3. ask her out anyway because a swan dive onto pavement is closer to flying than sucking thumb in fetal position
4. you never had a chance, and now it shows. I have been there too. In denial? Try again. Take a year or two if you need to keep suffering. Then get over it (so much easier said than done. but your getting over it is directly proportionate to how many other girls you are hanging out with or talking to/asking out/dating, and how your life is going)
5. it'll never happen. i will bet you my life savings an. about 4k. I'll throw in my SV, and a year's hard labor. it is plain by how you are writing about her. i know because i have been there. she probably finds you sweet and entertaining, but laughably weak and green. by now she would never let you within three feet of her poon, even with a stick
6. Commit to a long term well rounded game plan of self development. Set goals and broaden horizons. Gym, new classes, new activities. A little pickup wouldn't hurt, start with The Game. Most pickup guys are beyond nerbs but at least they leap into life, and it teaches you something. #1 how to have some balls and #2 how to tell when you shouldn't press the matter
7. get tired of pickup and forget about it, or perhaps it will take and you will find a girl to have sex with. Barring that, hire a callgirl. Seriously. Then proceed with life as normal
8. Change location if necessary to bigger city. Gain experience and develop your own selection/preferences naturally by experience.
9. With experience your needy pathetic behavior will lessen. ironically you will become more desirable as a partner (romantic love is all power play anyway --from Romance the french film) You may find your status and attractiveness is not as great as your taste in women. Tough, welcome to the club.
10. ? ? ?
11. PROFIT
Care tp explain? :dunno_white:
C'mon an hope you sacked up, at least tell us what happened. Anyway bored to tears been on my ass for the last 2 days vasectomy sucks but at least I got some good drugs out of it.
Down 2 days for a vasectomy? And you think An is a wimp!?
get up and walk, man! Nothing's going to fall out!
Quote from: Paulcet on March 31, 2009, 03:18:24 PM
Down 2 days for a vasectomy? And you think An is a wimp!?
get up and walk, man! Nothing's going to fall out!
:flipoff: :flipoff:
Just following doctors orders.
Ice 15 minutes every hour, stay flat up only for Bathroom necessities yesterday and today. Business as usual tomorrow minimal swelling and bruising Bout to go stir crazy. Damn sack was the size of a grapefruit before I got em iced yesterday. Fricken doc was brutal too not enough local when he did the first one, felt like he was rooting around in there with a pair of needle nose pliers trying find the damn tube.
BTW NIGHTRIDER I don't F-off. I got better things to do and not going to waste my time on you.
An hope all went well.
If not I guess take the mighty NightRider's advice he has more testosterone than brains and probably nails anything with a hole.
Mary
I agree. reasons not withstanding. a solution for one may work, and may NOT work for another. all of the aforementioned reasons given. ( i hope genuinely) by members here who i hope ( perhaps naively) care. an , however it went, i wish you, and her the best. if it went well. congrats, if not. at least you know. Soooooooooooooooo, in closing, how did it go?
C'mon girly man, give us the news. Is this the same one I saw pics of like a year and a half ago? She was definitely a looker.
Dammit come on we know you can't be that busy............ or maybe he could be? :dunno_black:
Maybe its a good thing he's to busy to update! GO AN!
Does this me we can officially retire the "get an laid thread"? :icon_mrgreen:
Well, How did it go ???
long story short, didn't do it.
He's hiding.
The "Get An Laid" thread has finally come to its shriveled, whimpering finale.
Now, what were you saying, NateDawg? Something about "Go f**k yourself"?
Well, whatdya know?! Posted at the same time!
Thanks for the support from NateDawg, Yama, and a few others. New info came to my attention, so I didn't do it.
I'm still probably gonna send her an email or something telling her, but for a different reason.... I guess I wanted to tell her because I had hope that things could be different. Now I just need to tell her to close the chapter so to speak.
Sooooo, she found a boyfriend? Seriously, in my book if there isn't a ring on the finger it's fair game..............
no. I happen to catch a glimpse of a text she sent to another girl at work... she mentioned to the girl that she knew I was gonna 'profess my love' for her, but I didn't get a chance to.
I don't remember the exact wording, but it seems like she's glad I didn't tell her then... I actually stayed 30 minutes after I punched out for the day waiting for her to finish with her current customer... I mentioned that I wanted to talk to her, and she said that she's probably gonna be a while and 'hit me up online'.
That text confirms my thought that she already knew, and she had a feeling as to what I was gonna say.
Any clue to what her reply would have been?, yes i know. noen of my f%$king business :icon_lol: :icon_lol:
Well... considering she's completely different than the girls that I normally date, I decided to do something I normally wouldn't have done.... wrote this and sent it through myspace
QuoteI really like you. I know it's been obvious to some people 'cause I've been called out on it a couple times, and I hope it was apparent to you too so that it's not a huge shock or anything. I've also got a feeling that you knew I was going to say something before I left, based on how you acted. I almost laughed when you asked me if I was about to cry a couple days ago... the truth is I was REALLY nervous (I still am) and didn't know what to say (or if I was going to say anything at all). Most of the time, I'm sure that I'm not your type and you're not looking for anything, but once in a while I have my doubts. That makes it even more confusing to me as to why I'm telling you this...
We've become decent friends over the past two years. I love you as a friend, but the more I got to know you, the more I started liking you as something possibly more. Even this past December, I was learning things that I liked about you...
You are extremely nice to people. I can't believe how well you curb your irritation when dealing with certain people. Sure, you'll vent after they're gone, but everyone does that. You basically treat others exactly how you want to be treated yourself. Not many people are like that.
You're also pretty much a GENIUS. :) Sudoku. Crosswords. Cryptograms. Scrabble. Whatever. It seems like you do it all. I remember a specific time when I was helping a couple of cute girls with something. After I finished, I turned my attention to you before they even left the area... you asked me (jokingly I think) if you were more interesting than those girls. Quite frankly, yes you are.
It never really occurred to me how generous you were until you told me that you had donated a couple hundred dollars or some amount to charity this past Christmas. I know you donate your hair to Locks of Love, but that really stood out for some reason. Maybe it's the fact that you're religious as well. That's something that I admire.
But to cut this short so that I'm not babbling more than I already have, I like being around you 'cause you always know how to make me smile. I find myself wanting to become a better person because of who you are. I've never met anyone that's ever made me feel that way. I swear less; I do more brain activities like Sudoku and other puzzles; I'm more patient with people (although sometimes it doesn't seem that way); and the list continues. You're also incredibly beautiful. Each time you do something silly and I just look at you without saying anything, all I can think of is how beautiful your eyes are, how infectious your smile is, and how your wacky personality makes me feel comfortable and excited at the same time. I can't forget to mention your booty too (I've been around Saul too long. Lol).
So I'm out on a limb with the risk I've put upon myself. I guess I just needed to get this off my chest. I know that there's a probability that you don't share the same feelings, and if not, I'm hoping you don't look at me any differently and let this ruin a friendship. I've had some great people just fade out of my life, and I don't want to add you to that list. But if there's a chance that there could be something, I personally don't want to go through life asking what if... I've done enough of that to last a lifetime.
Now that I've probably made a fool out of myself considering I don't like to do these types of notes... thoughts? Comments? Or will it be the usual "Shut it An. Ttyl." Hehe.
I'll let you know what the response is.
Shyt. That's a fuqqing long read. I ddin't want it to be THAT long. fuq it. I'll send it anyway.
Quick An, grab your crotch!!!!!! Is everything still there or did it implode into a naughty place?
Out of curiousity, do you eat much red meat? get enough sleep (7-9hrs/night)? work too much?
Seriously, good luck and at least it's off your chest now.
thankz terry.
I eat meat. Although I don't eat much to begin with. She's always on my case about that too.... mainly 'cause I almost never eat anything on my lunch break.
Nope. I have trouble getting enough sleep... normally it's around 3-5 hours a night with an occassional waking up every hour or two.
In the past, I've become a work-a-holic when my life gets stressful. That's the strange part... I hate my job, but when she was working, I'd come in early or stay late to make up the hours.... now that she's gone, I could care less if I get a full 40 hours a week.
Got insurance? Go to the Doc, give him that run down and have him do a standard blood workup. I'd be willing to lay money down that your free test levels SUCK. It is simply amazing what proper test levels can do for your confidence.
Or get yourself an OTC sleep aid, make sure you get a healthy diet including a good chunk of red meat, and don't kill yourself at work. Exercise stimulates production also.
Quote from: spc on April 01, 2009, 10:19:09 PM
Got insurance? Go to the Doc, give him that run down and have him do a standard blood workup. I'd be willing to lay money down that your free test levels SUCK. It is simply amazing what proper test levels can do for your confidence.
Or get yourself an OTC sleep aid, make sure you get a healthy diet including a good chunk of red meat, and don't kill yourself at work. Exercise stimulates production also.
What would that tell me? I'm not too familiar with that stuff.
Sorry, test being short for testosterone. A lot of guys have low test levels, it's a side effect of the sedentary/slovenly lifestyle that has become the norm in todays society. There's a lot you can do without getting a prescription, simple lifestyle changes can change your entire outlook on life.
thankz dude. :cheers:
Well bro you got it out there. as did i recently teh waiting game is sucky lol aint it. i am pulling for you an. you are a nice person. based from what ive seen ehre on teh board. if shes nto meant to be yours. then the gal who is will be LUCKY. life is full of uppers and downers ( of the legal variety) this is one that could go either way. BUT you said what you wanted to say. so now you wait.. good luck m8 :bowdown:
You know I guess I'm just not with it knowing what a girl likes. but, I'll give you my two cents if that were me I'd appreciate that note. Even if I wasn't that in to you it would make me feel good knowing that someone sees those qualaties in me. Esp, if it were a good friend who wrote it. Honestly, we don't tell people enough how much they mean to us. Seems like the only times we want to do it is either when they have died or will never see you again. I try very hard to let my friends know what they mean to me and work very hard to keep friendships alive. Why because I believe they are something worth fighting for.
I'm sure I'll get flamed for that but I really don't care. You seem to be in touch with your emotions but a lot of people seem to be against that. I think that makes us a very sad species. Since, we are the only ones that really have been given that gift by God but we don't use it even in love for Him much less for each other.
I will pray that this relationship goes the way it needs to go! Please, don't change who you are An because that would be a disservice to yourself.
Mary
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Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on April 02, 2009, 01:38:54 AM
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+1
You're not gonna hear any arguing out of me, Mary, despite our recent tit-for-tat.
Your sentiments are what many of us grow up expecting most women to also believe. We regard it as a sign of true inward beauty. But, sadly, it doesn't take very many encounters to learn it's rarity.
Now, if An were smart and decided to learn from this experience, he might become a little bitter (granted, like me) but a lot wiser.
For instance:
1) Remember when I said that she probably knew without him saying anything?
2) Remember when I said that he'd probably hear her making fun of him? How do you feel about someone making fun of you about this? Odd, isn't it?
3) Remember my point of view about poems and such? Those type of things are lost on a girl like this. See how she made fun of him, was hitting him before, etc.
Maybe An will learn that a woman isn't girlfriend material (for him) just because she finishes his sentences and such, and to pick up on subtle clues from this experience.
I, and a few others, were urging him to speak his mind, just to avoid the What-If syndrome that would haunt him for years. If he has a little confidence in himself, he might feel truly insulted that she scorned him and look for a woman of higher caliber.
There was really no other outcome, unless he approached her with testosterone-fueled confidence and the bravado of someone used to getting what he wants.
(Had he done that, he might have learned another lesson.)
I'm pretty sure that An will feel guilty about sending her this "letter". He already is, anyway... notice how he second-guessed himself. If she scorns him further, maybe he will learn that second-guessing in itself is a sign of a unworthy mate.
An even bigger mistake (the worst one) will be if he berates himself over the experience. Or tries to forget about it.
Learn to pick and choose, instead. Stop "putting the pu**y on a pedestal", as we say. Have a little faith in yourself as a man, instead of needing a woman's approval. It's hard, and people (mostly women) call you an @$$hole, but it's only because you stand up for yourself without bending to their every wish and whim. See how much bending you've done for this girl, and how you were treated? Doesn't make sense, does it? The power of a woman...
In other words:
You got played!
I'm sure glad I don't have the same outlook in life as you wladziu... I highly doubt that she was playing me at all.
On that note, she read my message and replied. I saw the reply about 10 minutes ago, but I'm nervous about opening it.
I know... I know.... Shut it An, and grow some hair on your balls.
If you don't open it I'm gonna Kick your Ass. :flipoff:
Believe me I can. :flipoff: :flipoff:
I'd like to see you try.
(I live in Bolivia btw.)
Dude just open it and I hope it's good and if it is I mean you don't want to keep her waiting.
Good point CafeBoy.
But I already know it's not gonna be that type of reply.
READ IT AND KNOW :dunno_white:
I'm just happy she's not too mortified and is trying to avoid me. lol. she sent me an email right after sending me the reply... without reading it, I'm sure things will be fine between us.
Dissappointed that we won't be anything more than friends, but that's ok.
read it you P()ssy!
Quote from: annguyen1981 on April 02, 2009, 08:46:30 PM
I'm just happy she's not too mortified and is trying to avoid me. lol. she sent me an email right after sending me the reply... without reading it, I'm sure things will be fine between us.
Dissappointed that we won't be anything more than friends, but that's ok.
Friends is fine, why be dissapointed dude? What you have done is established without a doubt where you stand and can now go forth and date without wondering if you're upsetting her or missing out. Don't dwell on this, don't play what if in your head basically don't obsess over this anymore this was a lesson in gaining confidence and acting even when you thought the outcome wouldn't be what you wanted.
You are gonna laugh about this but check out plentyoffish.com it's free thats where my wife and I met. I ddin't have a lot of time to waste being a single dad and working full time so online dating made sense. I tried match.com and eharmony yahoo singles even AFF and out of all those pay sites went on 2 dates with complete phoney's. I dated at least a dozen different women from plentyoffish and even though I am married now we are friends with 3 of the women I dated from there. It's gonna sound bad but quantity is the way to find quality my friend and by getting out and dating you're gonna build some confidence and self esteem. Most of all though just learn to have fun.
Quote from: bettingpython on April 03, 2009, 07:30:09 AM
.....and by getting out and dating you're gonna build some confidence and self esteem. Most of all though just learn to have fun.
+1!!!!
Hey cafeboy is (IF I COULD FRAME MY MINED---WHERE WOULD IT HANG ?) this from an Eve 6 song?
Yep :thumb:
Not many folks know that :whisper:
Quote from: bettingpython on April 03, 2009, 07:30:09 AM
It's gonna sound bad but quantity is the way to find quality my friend and by getting out and dating you're gonna build some confidence and self esteem. Most of all though just learn to have fun.
DUDE!!!!!! +1 trillion and then some more zeros tacked on the end for good measure. Perfect advice for EVERYONE. It is very ver rare to find your soul mate on the first date you ever go on. and alot of women and men dont open fully so show you thier inner beauty (if there is any) until several dates have gone by and they get comfortable with you. To quote allanis, You live, You learn. You lose, you learn.
Quote from: bettingpython on April 03, 2009, 07:30:09 AM
Quote from: annguyen1981 on April 02, 2009, 08:46:30 PM
I'm just happy she's not too mortified and is trying to avoid me. lol. she sent me an email right after sending me the reply... without reading it, I'm sure things will be fine between us.
Dissappointed that we won't be anything more than friends, but that's ok.
Friends is fine, why be dissapointed dude? What you have done is established without a doubt where you stand and can now go forth and date without wondering if you're upsetting her or missing out. Don't dwell on this, don't play what if in your head basically don't obsess over this anymore this was a lesson in gaining confidence and acting even when you thought the outcome wouldn't be what you wanted.
You are gonna laugh about this but check out plentyoffish.com it's free thats where my wife and I met. I ddin't have a lot of time to waste being a single dad and working full time so online dating made sense. I tried match.com and eharmony yahoo singles even AFF and out of all those pay sites went on 2 dates with complete phoney's. I dated at least a dozen different women from plentyoffish and even though I am married now we are friends with 3 of the women I dated from there. It's gonna sound bad but quantity is the way to find quality my friend and by getting out and dating you're gonna build some confidence and self esteem. Most of all though just learn to have fun.
Don't get me wrong... I'm glad I know 100% where I stand, and I won't be asking "what if" about me and her. I'm just (slightly) disappointed... I'm not depressed in any way, shape, or form. I'm actually thrilled that Ive still got such an wonderful person in my life.
To those that are wondering... here's her reply:
QuoteHi, yeah I knew. You just looked like you were about to melt down or something and I didn't want to hurt you. Yes we are good friends, and I've shared a lot with you, which is why I think you know I have to say no.
I'm not a relationship girl, I don't get emotionally involved with people, and you get REALLY emotionally invested, which would basically result in my hurting your feelings a LOT. We get along extremely well, but I don't feel any romantic feelings for you, it's just friendship.
I'm completely flattered by what an amazing person you think I am, hopefully I can see myself that way some day, lol. I don't want to stop being friends, but I don't want it to be weird either, since I know how hard it must have been for you to admit your feelings to me.
I don't want to give you false hope either, which I have apparently done by acting the way I do with people. I grew up with guys, I act like that with all of them, well the ones I'm good friends with anyway.
I totally get if you need to not talk to me for a while, it's hard to try to be friends with someone when you want more and they don't, so it's up to you. Take some time, go find someone who wants a relationship so you can forget about me romantically :)
*~K~*
I started laughing out loud when I first read the "about to melt down" part. lol
Ah I'm going thru the same thing more or less.Have been for the past Year. Damn sometimes I think I need my head Checked.Why I even try I don't know. :dunno_black: I've heard that they don't want to Hurt me,Sorry if I'm leading you on,I don't mean too,My Boyfriend treats me like shaZam! he's an @$$hole I need someone in my life to Help me,I need something to eat,I'm Cold I need Heat,I'm not a Whore or my mama,ETC.ETC.ETC.
Why are women born with their Heads up their Asses? I turn to God Every Day to show me the way but he just Ignores me.
Or jug he shows you the bad oens first. so you know when you find the good ones ;)
I looked in the mirror and my head is most definately not up my a$$! Not all of us are like that.
Hell, I think she did a hell of a lot better than what everyone was saying she'd do. She also made it clear I know alot of girls don't even give the time of day with that. If it is in the cards I really hope the friendship survives because that will mean it was a good one first off.
Mary
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on April 05, 2009, 12:33:01 AM
Or jug he shows you the bad oens first. so you know when you find the good ones ;)
nice.....+1!
this thread needs to end, sorry man but you need to move on. obviously shes missing out on a great person...thats her loss, i promise you'll find someone who deserves you and then you'll feel pretty silly about this loooooong thread. closure is a good thing, acknowledge it, allow a
short period of time to revel in it, then move on continue living your life. :thumb:
Absotively posilutely
Quote from: Canonball on April 05, 2009, 07:41:26 AM
Quote from: yamahonkawazuki on April 05, 2009, 12:33:01 AM
Or jug he shows you the bad oens first. so you know when you find the good ones ;)
nice.....+1!
this thread needs to end, sorry man but you need to move on. obviously shes missing out on a great person...thats her loss, i promise you'll find someone who deserves you and then you'll feel pretty silly about this loooooong thread. closure is a good thing, acknowledge it, allow a short period of time to revel in it, then move on continue living your life. :thumb:
I think the closure for me was just to TELL her. I guess I knew in my heart that she wasn't interested in me as more than a friend. But in my head I had two conflicting thoughts...
1) Tell her and possibly lose a great friend (like I've done in the past... except it was my BEST friend at the time)
2) Don't tell her and remain friends... but always wonder 'what if' (I've done this too, and it sucks equally)
So, basically, this is what happened:
Quote from: wladziu on March 22, 2009, 12:32:50 PM
An,
She picked up on it a LOOOONG time ago. She's a woman; it's what they do. She's probably just annoyed by now.
It's what happens when you don't use what you've been given.
Tell her something. Who gives a sh!t what you say. She sure doesn't.
Or don't, then be prepared to compare every woman you meet to her.
The longer you go without doing something about it, the more she thinks that she can do better. She picked up on it from your mannerisms, so don't fool yourself that it's something different.
I think I remember somebody saying that before.... Wait, I know! It was me!
Cram it Wlad. Not every woman is like what you describe...
She actually never wanted me to say anything... I remember a survey on myspace that she filled out... one of the questions was something like, "If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you?"
Her answer was something like "I hope this one guy doesn't." I had a feeling back then that she knew, and I had a feeling that she mght have been referring to me in her answer. But that was about a year ago probably... and I wasn't really gonna tell her anyway. In fact, I was trying to deny that I had feelings for her.... I've lost a great friend because of my stupid feelings, and I wasn't prepared to go through that again.
wELL AN. HOPEFULLY YOU STILL HAVE A FRIEND IN HER. FROM WHAT YOUVE SAID. SEEMS TO BE. AND ODDS ARE STILL WILL. BE BUT AS YOU ALREADY KNOW. MORE THAN LIKELY WILL NOT GO ANY FURTHER. but YO UKNOW.. SO NOW YOU CAN MOVE FWD WIHT YOUR LIFE. AND NOT SPEND IT WONDERING. WHAT IF..... Sorry caps got stuck, and im too lazy to correct after the day ive had. lol. anyhoo GL an O0 :thumb: