Quote from: crashthere IS something wrong with your wife telling you the kid is yours when he's really your neighbor's.

A couple of things...

From your post, it didn't indicate that they specifically didn't tell their husbands.  Do we know that?

If there were no stigma against/resistance to raising a kid who isn't biologically yours, there would be no motivation for the wife not to tell.

how about those who cant afford to drop 800-1200$ for conclusive testing?

there is a difference to meeting a perspective mate with a child and  taking a mate who reproduces with another but claims its yours.

raising someone elses kid is and should be a Voluntary choice. not a deception.

Blood-test!  

To clarify, I condemn cheating on one's partner - but I think the whole biological imperative thing is a really bad idea for us at the stage we are in as a species, and I have a problem with the idea that knowingly raising someone else's kid is somehow a lesser act, or that offspring deception is somehow worse than the other deceptions that can be perpetrated.

Can you even imagine what it would be like to find out?  For the father or the kid...

Blood-test...  Then you can tell if you were lied to...  You never have to worry about it.

I know lots of people that raise other people's kids...  But, they all KNOW they're other people's kids.

Quoteor that offspring deception is somehow worse than the other deceptions that can be perpetrated.

ok, im having a hard time fallowing what your trying to say here, so im gonna ask you rephrase this statement in an example just so i cant mistake your meaning


Cuz as i see this statement (i am extremly tired too)

you see other deceptions (lies) worse then be told its your child when the truth behind it is just the opposite?

I certainly hope you're in an honest communication space by the time you marry someone and raise a kid together.  

Quote from: Blueknytyou see other deceptions (lies) worse then be told its your child when the truth behind it is just the opposite?

??

i cant ask much clearer then that.


how are you confused?

You see other deceptions lies worse...

then, be told its your child when the truth behind it is just the opposite?

I'm missing some grammar, man, really I am...

How about:

"You see other deceptions (lies)

as worse than being told it's your child, when the truth behind it is just the opposite?"[/list:u]Does that preserve the meaning? :dunno:

I think everyone agrees on one thing here...

Being lied to is bad.

I think it's just the solution that differs...  I say get a blood-test if you think you're being lied to...  You don't even need to let the woman know...  In fact, it's probably better if you don't.

There's nothing like DNA evidence to raise your confidence level.  

Quote from: KerryHow about:

"You see other deceptions (lies)

as worse than being told it's your child when the truth behind it is just the opposite?"[/list:u]Does this preserve the meaning? :dunno:

Oh, IC!

No, I mean the opposite; that lies and deceptions to someone you are ostensibly close to and sharing your life with are bad.  There are white lies and there are true, hurtful lies, and the latter has no scale.  They're just all bad.  IMO, if you can't be truthful with the worst with your partner as well as the best, call it off and find another partner.

Untruth escalates.

Again, that's not to say you should dump every last little thing on your partner.  Life is all about balance.  But intentionally withholding something you know he or she will care about is not in the category of restraint.

Quote from: Roadstergalthat's not to say you should dump every last little thing on your partner.

You want to tell my wife that?  :lol:  J/K

being the nice guy can be more painful and destructive than anyone can guess.


i think im done with this thread.

Quote from: Blueknytbeing the nice guy can be more painful and destructive than anyone can guess.


i think im done with this thread.

. yeah being nice is a pain, but is how i was raised, unless a lady pisses me off, then i can be a bit of an ass, but it seems like around here anyway (11k people) the women want the wife beater/ alpha male type. or theyve got more miles on them than my vehicles. that brings up another point, or they are only interested after the know what you own& whatnot, i borrow one friends porsche, cant keep them away, borrow another friends old clunker its like moses parting the red sea, bout the only thing i could find would be the town whore, and in an area this small, those are rare.i get on my mc, same scenario as with the porsche, wtf seems they are somewhat materialistic. not saying that about all. baah i could go on about this all night. prolly time to get drunk? lol    :lol:  :dunno:

Quote from: raylarrabeeLeykis is a putz.

yeah, i'm skeptical about taking dating advice from a guy who was once arrested for beating his wife, and who has advocated dating girls who were sexually abused as children because they're more likely to put out.

this nice guy bad guy thing really has nothing to do with the males.  its more of the female havign issues.  

believe me..when a girl wants something, she doesn't care if its bad or good...she'll try to get it regardless of what anyone thinks.  that's just how it is.

I normally don't get into these, but I have a special insight into something that was brought up.

My ex-wife cheated and got pregnant.  She didn't lie to me, but I am raising a child genetically donated to by another.  Note I did not say that my boy is another's child.  He isn't, he's my child even if my blood does not run through his veins.  Far more important than that blood is the love and ideals I can give him.  He's 8 now and we're going to be having a talk soon to tell him the truth.  The truth is simple, I may not have donated the genetic material that created him, but in every way that matters I am his father and he is my son.

Sorry to "jack", but too many people can't see past the blood.  Yes the truth should be told, but it shouldn't change any part of the love of a fatherr for his child.

Sorry to "sermonize"

Quote from: ConanLloydHe isn't, he's my child even if my blood does not run through his veins.  Far more important than that blood is the love and ideals I can give him.  He's 8 now and we're going to be having a talk soon to tell him the truth.  The truth is simple, I may not have donated the genetic material that created him, but in every way that matters I am his father and he is my son.

Sorry to "jack", but too many people can't see past the blood.  Yes the truth should be told, but it shouldn't change any part of the love of a fatherr for his child.

       

Little bitter, there, chino?   :lol:   I've been jacked over by a guy or two, but I know better than to characterize all guys as manipulative bastards based on the bad ones.  Guys and gals are both humans, and there are good humans and bad humans the world over.