Guys, first off, thanks for the kind words.  It means a lot to me to have this support.  Sure, I have a family that I can talk to about this, but they are going through the same thing as me right now.  I needed some clear-headed advice from folks who aren't involved.

Frankie, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss as well.  It's not something that is fun to deal with no matter what day of the week it is.  I'll pray for you and your family.

Just as an update, he was charged with manslaughter yesterday, and released on bond last night.  The DA's office didn't let anyone in the family know of the bond hearing, or his release.  My wife and I were planning on going to visit with the kids today, but since he is home with them, I don't feel I need to be around him.  I'm going to spend the day in Memphis so as to be absolutely sure that I won't run into him.  I will not seek him out or try to hurt him, but if I were to just happen upon him in the street, I'm not sure how I would react.  I know how I would like to react, but I'm not so sure I would be able to hold myself back. 

Right now, it seems as if the children are in good hands.  They are much closer to his side of the family than mine, and some of his family has stepped up and offered to care for them, but nothing is final as of yet.  I think it would be in the best interest of the children since they are accustomed to being around them more than my side of the family.  It would be less of a change for them.

Thanks again guys.

Manslaughter/ not murder? was it premeditated or not? Did you say he was home with the kids?? If so you guys have got a weird legal system although i guess i dont know the ins and outs of the case.

Can't really explain it all right now, but I will try to get all the info together in my mind and tell you guys the in's and out's.  Don't have a lot of time to explain it all right this second.

WOW i don't even know how to really that that one in

Best of luck to you

i don't even know what i would do

Lewis,

I just got back from a vacation trip and read the news.  I feel for you and your family right now.  Keep the faith.

I'm sorry for what you are going through.  Seems like rough times for most people I know right now.. 

Best,

~pink..

Just got back from a trip Lewis.  I am so sorry for what has been done to you and your family.  No one should have to deal with this. 

But I wholly admire you for your willingness to care for the children...don't lose that positiveness through this experience.

You're in my thoughts and prayers,

~lilbill

hey frankie, think of it this way when her life was taken/stolen, im willing to say she didnt feel the pain of death , but still, it sucks a major one to go through that, id say

Well shaZam!, now its my turn. a close cousing of mine, in peoria AZ, shot himself 4 days ago. ( which an engraved shotty i gave as a wedding present. when i lived in az ( in 01-02) he had been arguing with wife, she was going to divorce him, he was like, " heh i  might as well blow my f%$king head off" she was like heh i dont give a f%$k, well she took the kids off to school, and the neighbors heard a loud boom coming from the garage, hell if i had teh cash, my ass would be flyin into AZ right about now 

That sucks. Sorry about your friend.

gaaah, the whole family is in a slight tizzy. his fam, my moms side of fam, , and even though the divorce was sposed to happen, id say teh wife is a bit "tore up" right now

Sorry to hear about what happened.

Being adopted by relatives though, I have input about the babies. I have to say, give your decision some time and careful thought. Don't automatically feel obliged to care for them if it is going to put undue strain in many aspects on your household. All I am saying is, the hard decision may end up being a good decision. There are qualified and potentially good parents out there who would like to adopt.

I was adopted by relatives in the US. Compared to a pure "we want a baby" couple, their motives were mixed with obligation, possibly financial support, and novelty, and they came to view me as a burden and a liability. I left home at fifteen and no longer am in contact with any of my family.

Take your time. It may be you can care for them, it may be you can't. It's good you consider it, but it will be best if you decide carefully. I would absolutely consult with professionals and counselors about this.

Take care
nightrider

Quote from: nightrider on August 11, 2008, 02:19:41 AM
Sorry to hear about what happened.

Being adopted by relatives though, I have input about the babies. I have to say, give your decision some time and careful thought. Don't automatically feel obliged to care for them if it is going to put undue strain in many aspects on your household. All I am saying is, the hard decision may end up being a good decision. There are qualified and potentially good parents out there who would like to adopt.

I was adopted by relatives in the US. Compared to a pure "we want a baby" couple, their motives were mixed with obligation, possibly financial support, and novelty, and they came to view me as a burden and a liability. I left home at fifteen and no longer am in contact with any of my family.

Take your time. It may be you can care for them, it may be you can't. It's good you consider it, but it will be best if you decide carefully. I would absolutely consult with professionals and counselors about this.

Take care
nightrider

very sage advice there nightrider 

I concur with yam.  Very good. The feeling of Obligation can bring undue stress into ones life.  be careful. 

Guys, here's a link to one of the news stories they've put on tv around here lately.  This one is from Memphis:

http://www.myfoxmemphis.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=7159860&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=3.2.1


The children are with his sister right now.  She is a pretty nice person and the kids have spent a lot of time around her.  We're still just waiting to see what happens.  Everything is still up in the air.  We can't even bury her right now.  The state wants to hold her skeleton until the trial is over, and I have no clue how long that will take.  We're planning a memorial service for her and we will go ahead and put a headstone so her children can at least go to her grave to talk to her.  I guess we'll have to bury her after everything is over.  Thanks for all of the kind words, and for all of the advice.  My wife and I have really thought hard about the children.  It has taken a lot of soul-searching.  There are so many different things to consider.  We still haven't decided if we'll try to get the kids yet.

Thanks again guys.

Sorry to hear about your trouble as well yamahonkawazuki.  I'll pray for them.  It's really screwed up that you can be going through life all grand and happy, and then all of a sudden.....BOOM.  Everything goes to shaZam!.

yes indeed. and yesterday, my boss's sister got hit and killed by a train ( damn near unidentifiable )( she parked her car at a local restaurant, and drunken walked over to, and layed down across, the tracks ( in a bit of a blind curve. needless to say it was messy  , her husband was on his way to turkey to visit teh Fam, and this happened. and my boss who is turkish, was near unintelligible, in a mixture of turkish and english, i told him, " you need to calm down before i force feed you a pound of pot" ( he calms down tehn i find out teh details. gaaah this worls so farked right now. and i dont see it getting better anytime soon 

So many difficult things happening right now...2008 is turning out to be a tough year for many.... I'm so sorry to hear of all these things happening. Good thoughts going out to all of you right now...