SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the
crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You borrow against the cows from the Germans
You kill the cows and make souvlaki
You can't pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
You can't pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
You can't pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
You can't pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money

See the Australian way....  that about sums it up down here.

Laid back we are.

Michael

I got to the Aussie one and thought yep that is right.

Oh yamahon - you forgot obama-ism - or whatever it is called on the Faux news these days.
Cool.
Buddha.

Oh yes Buddha, Obamaism is where you take the country's cow population, sell them, give 90 percent to the government to invest in green energy ( Solindra ),  pay back the uber rich and unions who got Obama elected, and then distribute what's left evenly among all 57 states---the same ones that Obama has visited. In case the return on the cows is insufficient, the government can always make up the difference by selling assault weapons to Mexican drug cartels.

BTW, Fox news beats the hell out of the main stream news that's all Obama---all good----all the time, ratings wise and otherwise. You can always tell what the left is most afraid of, they make it frightfully obvious, it's the only thing this administration is transparent about.

Hey OJ, you forgot to bash Omabacare and call him stupid.
Cool.
Buddha.

I believe that goes without saying.

Stand firm Buddha, it's times like this that the man needs you more than ever, and many more just like you to replace those of the previous flock that now believe what they see, feel, and know to be true rather than what the Wizard has tried to convince them of.

Quote from: ojstinson on December 08, 2011, 11:15:42 AM
I believe that goes without saying.

Stand firm Buddha, it's times like this that the man needs you more than ever, and many more just like you to replace those of the previous flock that now believe what they see, feel, and know to be true rather than what the Wizard has tried to convince them of.

I am not standing nowhere, I am just reminding you to complete the bashing.
Like I said before, voting only encourages the bastids.
Ron Paul needs to be encouraged ...
Michelle Backmann needs to be discouraged.
The rest meeh, I am not wasting the 2-3 hours voting.

Cool.
Buddha.

OK, I can dig that.


Note; If you can say cool I can say dig.

Quote from: The Buddha on December 08, 2011, 10:43:01 AM
Hey OJ, you forgot to bash Omabacare and call him stupid.
Cool.
Buddha.

thas okay. you just take the "communism" entry and replace with "Obamaism".

(or maybe, take the INDIA one, replace "2 cows" with "1 Obama" and replace "indians" with "democrats"

As for the surealism entry.. that's Dadaism.
Needs moar Surealism:

SURREALISM
You have two harmonicas
The government requires you to take giraffe playing lessons

Quote from: Phil B on December 08, 2011, 05:03:48 PM
thas okay. you just take the "communism" entry and replace with "Obamaism".

Noooooooo ...... that cant be ...
Rush Limbaugh told me that Obamaism is a lot worse than communism.

Cool.
Buddha.

as heard on clinton broadcasting service. or all barack channel , worse than füx nudes

So where the heck did all those cows come from?

p.s. In the EC you can't have two cows, you need 1.8 cows but every third person has 2.3 cows to keep the books balanced.

Quote from: Cal Price on December 10, 2011, 05:13:58 PM
So where the heck did all those cows come from?

p.s. In the EC you can't have two cows, you need 1.8 cows but every third person has 2.3 cows to keep the books balanced.

and theres bull everywhere Eh? 

This is truly brilliant.  I've seen this before and it seems to be growing!

I'm convinced it was inspired by one of Ben Franklin's best quotes:

"Democracy is two wolves and a sheep deciding what to have for lunch."

Quote from: The Buddha on December 08, 2011, 08:05:43 PM

Quote from: Phil B on December 08, 2011, 05:03:48 PM
thas okay. you just take the "communism" entry and replace with "Obamaism".

Noooooooo ...... that cant be ...
Rush Limbaugh told me that Obamaism is a lot worse than communism.

Cool.

Buddha.

What we have with Obama is an inexperienced politician who was raised to be an anti-Britain, anti-colonialist Marxist like his father (don't yell at me, read his book) who is married to Wall St. bankers who got him where he is.  That's why were seeing him being a Mao wannabe on one hand, but a crony capitalist on the other.  This is the formula of a one-term president.  I think the people, uninformed as they are, will see this and throw him out.

Quote from: bill14224 on December 11, 2011, 06:54:31 AM

"Democracy is two wolves and a sheep deciding what to have for lunch."

Yep, democracy is "mob rules".

Michael

Quote from: bill14224 on December 11, 2011, 07:30:00 AM
What we have with Obama is an inexperienced politician who was raised to be an anti-Britain, anti-colonialist Marxist like his father (don't yell at me, read his book) who is married to Wall St. bankers who got him where he is.  That's why were seeing him being a Mao wannabe on one hand, but a crony capitalist on the other.  This is the formula of a one-term president.  I think the people, uninformed as they are, will see this and throw him out.

What you said bill is correct, however it is misleading in 1 aspect. The proof is in the actions not in whatever he (obama) has said.

Saying Obama is married to wall street bankers - I cannot see it as anything but untrue especially because he was putting in place the consumer protection agency and putting elizabeth warren as its cheif architect to police banks and wall street. Republicans blocked it, and they want to setup that agency as a committee. Which will let it get watered down.

Obama may have PAC contributions from wall street firms ... however PAC is political contributions from employees of that company - say I working @ wells fargo decide to donate $ to 1 specific PAC - it will go to that party/candidate with the wells fargo PAC label on it. That really doesn't indicate he is in the pocket of wells fargo.

Anyway Obama was begining to get tough on banks for a lot of their business practices, republicans have been blocking it. A consumer protection agency with elizabeth warren driving it would have really made a difference. Now the banks are parking their $ @ the fed and getting a small interest and not lending. She was proposing to charge them a fee for overnight deposits.

Seriously no one who isn't a big executive @ a bank was opposed to that.

Cool.
Buddha.

Quote from: bill14224 on December 11, 2011, 07:30:00 AM
This is the formula of a one-term president.  I think the people, uninformed as they are, will see this and throw him out.

http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/858.html

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
H. L. Mencken
US editor (1880 - 1956)

Quote from: Phil B on December 12, 2011, 10:04:44 AM
http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/858.html

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
H. L. Mencken
US editor (1880 - 1956)

I however know a lot of people who made $$$ understanding the stupidity of the american public ...
Cool.
Buddha.